Playing the Odds
by Vega Nightshade
Summary: Action causes reaction. What if it was between L and Light this time? If you want to win, you must play first. Is it worth when you even don't know the odds, when a new serial killer is making art his new interest? Is something blooming?/AU, future lemon
1. The Game Begins

**Author's Note:** The story was re-posted as I made some small changes in it, as well as corrected mistakes in writing.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note of course...

* * *

His eyes brought to his mind brown, melted sugar. Bright, but not enough to be called caramel or honey. Describing them simply as "brown" wasn't even close to truth. It was too flat, insipid. It didn't tell the whole story hidden behind them. And the story was exactly there, in those intelligent, piercing eyes. Nearly every time he looked into them, he was almost immediately drowning, like they were summoning him, trying to steal something from him. Not only his thoughts, but something much more important, by some described as pure soul.

He tried to look in the other direction, to break this strange contact. He blinked eventually and was free, only that the unusual tension was still there… It will pass, he could ignore it. It wasn't hard to do it; not when he was averting Light's gaze.

Ryuuzaki sighed quietly and turned to his laptop trying to concentrate on work, his main priority. He was L after all. It should level this silly, trivial and… human feelings. Emotions were above him, he could control them and secretly, he was even proud of himself. He wouldn't of course admit it. It was like telling everyone that there was something to control. He tried to convince the whole world that the great detective L was a cold professional without empathy, sometimes even without conscience.

He was staring into the monitor and reading data. It lasted for about an hour, when Light growled audibly.

"I can't stand it. Tell me the reason! It's obvious to me for a long time that you are insane in some way, but this is absolutely ridiculous. If you insist on calling you an adult act like one! No matter what I say you always try to find it insulting. Is it a punishment? What have I done?"

"You're overreacting… It's nothing, only your own imagination. I'm the same person as always…"

"That's crap Ryuuzaki-kun! You're not even a half of that person. I would understand your behavior or try to if you at least gave me the tiniest explanation or even a small hint. But no… You don't give a damn or it's caused by your stupidity, which I doubt."

"It's none of this. Besides, my actions are my business. There's no reason for you to care. There is also no law or a paragraph, which oblige me to confide in you." – Saying this was a huge mistake…

"Law or a paragraph? You need something imposed on you to be honest with me? Am I such an unworthy person? Maybe you need to be predestined for this, become a half-god or eventually the God himself? What will you say Ryuuzaki-kun? Will it be enough?" – Light's voice was now brim over with sarcasm and suppressed anger. He sounded like a snake waiting for his prey to make a move, a sound and then to bury his fangs in her warm, unaware flesh.

But Ryuuzaki wasn't a small, defenseless mouse. He was an eloquent, grown up man with his experience, knowledge and strength. No one have the right to judge him without having any idea about him and his decisions.

"There is no answer. Not for you, not for anyone. I'm an individual, perfectly capable of taking care of myself. You want to know what's wrong because your need to control everything and everyone, to overpower other units is showing once again… I won't be a dog on a leash Light-kun." – said Ryuuzaki with his hands crossed over his chest, still looking at the monitor not at Light.

In this moment, as usual, Light showed his temper. It was obvious that Ryuuzaki successfully pissed him off. From his standing position (he lifted himself up from his chair already) he turned Ryuuzaki's seat so he was right in front of him, put hands on both sides of the chair and leaned forward to face the black haired man. Light's voice was incredibly low and calm, but you could almost see the passion hidden underneath it.

"Such hypocrisy, Ryuuzaki-kun. It's like a curse coming from your mouth… If I must control everything around me, control is what you love. You even control yourself up to the point where human emotions and normal empathy, someone showing interest in you, is like a threat. You're mentally ill…? I'm your partner. My life depends from you in countless situations and I would like to know whom I trust. You don't care for your life? Fine. But don't expect the same from me, is it clear?"

"Yes, it is…" - Ryuuzaki said simply and, what Light should have predicted, kicked him right in the middle of his chest. Hard. He was definitely an agile and flexible person…

Light hit the ground loudly, his vision a little blurry, but he could see Ryuuzaki coming into his direction. He shook his head and stood up quickly, facing the other man.

"You shouldn't have done this."

"But I did…" - Light only smiled with the corner of his mouth and then reached Ryuuzaki, punching his nose. After that, they both fought like wild animals. Light had more muscles and a harder grip, but Ryuuzaki was far more flexible an agile. Their strength and fighting skills were comparable.

The younger man tried to pin L to the floor, though it wasn't easy when he was writhing and darting underneath him. Finally, he succeed it. Both of them were panting. Light was sitting on Ryuuzaki, pinning his hands to the floor with his own, straddling his hips.

He was looking for something in Ryuuzaki's jet black eyes; a hint of emotions, other than only anger. But Ryuuzaki's eyes were closed shut, his head pointing to the ceiling, throat exposed. Light pinned him harder to the ground and at that, Ryuuzaki's cheeks instantaneously reddened. It was very interesting…

Who would have thought that the great detective L could have became as red as an apple or a strawberry… One of the fruit that detective himself liked the most, as far as Light knew.

"What now, Ryuuzaki-kun? Hmm?" – Light asked – "Is it uncomfortable for you? You seem a little bit… heated if you know what I mean…" - Ryuuzaki stiffened immediately and became even more stiff than before.

"Leave me alone Light-kun. There is no reason for this. Just… Please…" - Ryuuzaki said quietly. A plea from him was something so unnatural and surprising that even without thinking Light released the man. He was stunned.

"I'm… sorry Ryuuzaki-kun. I didn't think that…" - he stopped, didn't know what else to say.

"Just forget about it. Subject is over…" - Black haired man said, now on his feet, averting Light's gaze, face still flushed.

Light nodded and left the room, leaving Ryuuzaki to himself.

It was another day and Light felt like really nothing had happened between him and L. he couldn't accuse Ryuuzaki of being cold this time. He answered every question Light asked him and he wasn't averting his eyes anymore. Even though, Light knew that something was wrong…

The other man was distant in some way. Well, his usual behaviour wasn't very joyful either. He was a workaholic, introverted and suspicious in addition. In other words, not much of a sociable being…

However, they were working together for about half a year and Light found out that they had many in common. What's more important, Ryuuzaki was merely tolerating others but Light was his equal and as an equal he treated him. Most of the time at least… When he wasn't trying to hide something from him.

Was it possible that it was "the problem"? What could it exactly be? Was it connected with their previous case? Probability was high… After all, Ryuuzaki started acting strange when he saw the initial police report.

So now Light had a hypothesis and he had only to verify it…


	2. The Mannequin

Light was accustomed to the view of blood, corpses and horrific wounds made by psychopathic murderers. This time though, it was different. When he entered the room in the art gallery, he was taken aback because of what he saw. He felt his stomach in his throat.

There was a mannequin in the middle of the room. A human mannequin… She, or now rather it maybe, was on a wooden landing but she wasn't in her original shape anymore. Parts of her body were chopped and combined together once again with some kind of metal rods. Her right hand was reaching to the sky and her head was deflected. One could think that she was looking above and waiting for a miracle, a sign from the god himself. What surprised Light, she wasn't naked. Saffron silky robe was wrapped around her.

There was something horribly beautiful about this… Green eyes filled with sadness and hope in the same time. Long fair hair spread on her shoulders. Alabaster skin, untouched by death yet, almost shinning in the morning light entering the room through the windows.

But what gave her an angelic, sublime impression was more obvious. There was a pair of white wings made of real feathers on her back. She was captured in the moment. From her pose you could imagine that she was waiting for the right moment to get herself lightly from the ground and fly away, leaving everything behind, like there was so much more up there, where her absent look was trying to reach. Now she was literally bound to the earth, very dead in her human body…

Light was sure he would find some kind of a pattern in it, sooner or later… This cruelty wasn't committed by an average murderer. Ryuuzaki entered his train of thought.

"I would say, it's probably a first victim but won't be the last… It is a sociopath, a 'would be' serial killer. It;s obvious that no accidental murderer would do such an atrocious thing. But it's not only about killing here, there's something more. I dare say, who committed it, considered it as art. Creating an extraordinary sculpture, one of a kind. Someone put much effort in it…"

Light wined but finally, wearing his silicon gloves, started to examine the victim. I didn't matter that someone have done it already… Something could have been missed…

"Well, you're absolutely right. There is no visible blood on the victim's body. It was dismembered, evidently. Cuts are nice and clean if I can use such words… They were made with something sharp, probably some kind of a surgery equipment. It was a professional job…"

"It's helpful… Our murderer must have had some contact with it earlier. He could have worked or is still working as a surgeon… a butcher perhaps… This professions have actually something in common." – Ryuuzaki stated. – "blood, flesh in order to let somebody live, prolog his existence…"

"Only say such a thing. It's not funny…"

"Well, I didn't say it in order to be… It was only a lame statement, merely an observation."

"Rather cynic, don't you think? "– Light asked, lifting his left brow.

"If you say so… It doesn't matter now, does it? Others from our investigation team will be here in a moment. They'll examine the body and the place more carefully. We should take our chance now and look for any hints, search for details, which could be missed… So watch carefully and tell me, what can you see Light-kun? What else will you say about the victim? What do you think about the way she was murdered, what is the murderer 'trying to say?'"

"I have many questions running through my head. It's obvious that her pose, robe, wings have a meaning. We need a specialist in symbolism… My first impression? I thought about an angel, something sublime, god-like, from other dimension, unreal…"

"You may be right. Religion…" - Ryuuzaki bit at his thumb – "certainly not Christian, Judaic or Islamic. Not in my opinion. I should rather consider some old ancient religions like Greek or Roman. I don't think it would be hard to find out… Murderer wants us to know this, he didn't want to leave proof only, which could lead us to him directly. No blood and I suppose that saliva or any DNA source like hair or cuticle. He made a plan, has a vision. He's intelligent, precise, patient and self conscious. He's dangerous."

"And I see him not her…"

"A man? Probability is high. Above fifty percent, even sixty. The rest is here." – Ryuuzaki pointed with his head, where three cars could be seen in front of the building from the windows. - "We'll talk with them later. We have some interesting information to check, don't you think Light-kun?"

The man only nodded with a sigh. This was going to be a long day and actually night as well if you were working with Ryuuzaki… He'll have to deal with that once more…

There were currently only the two of them in the headquarters. Room was filled with constant humming of working computers and their artificial slightly blue light. Light and Ryuuzaki were silently researching data connected with the case and looking for some hints, hidden information. Photos of the victim and place of the crime, as well as coroner's and anatomopathologist's reports, were already in the database. Initial examination and later autopsy left them with nothing when it came to the murderer. But they found victim's identity. Aurora Lark was a young woman in her early twenties, twenty-four exactly. She was studying art and specialized in glasswork. The girl was living on her own, had no close family and only a few friends. As for now, their whereabouts were unknown.

According to autopsy, she was murdered on Saturday between six and nine o'clock. There were no signs of sexual abuse but the body had been frozen before the process of dismembering. Probably with nitrogen. Victims trachea had been crashed, cut supply of the oxygen and the woman suffocated.

They had no murderer's DNA. One fake fiber was detected, which was on the victim's attire but no matches were found.

Light found one thing however, but it was useful only in making murderer's psychological profile. In Light's opinion at least…

"Ryuuzaki, I think the killer is saying to us that it's just the beginning of a new day. Moreover, the victim is not accidental."

The older man hadn't even look at him, his dark orbs still fixed on the monitor.

"And on what is Light-kun's hypothesis based?"

"Symbolism. I merely searched through professional sites on the Internet. Saffron robe and wings in Greek mythology denotes to Eos, the Titan Goddess of the down. Not coincidental the name is cognate to Latin Aurora, which is our victim's name…

I would consider two options. Either the culprit wants to create a new order of the world somehow or he refers only to a new order, new quality, current in art… I'd rather not think that making sculptures of parts of the human body is just fun for him or a sick hobby… Although a psychopath with a new found mission to complete is probably no better..."

"Or her. Light-kun must not forget that we don't have any proof for the murderer's male gender. We cannot eliminate the killer being a woman so easily. It could mislead us. But I must say that I agree with your general conclusion. Maybe we'll have other clues when the rest of the investigation team will interrogate people acquainted with Aurora Lark. Aizawa-kun and Mogi-kun are responsible for that. Hopefully, they'll join us tomorrow. As for now, you should take a break Light-kun or even call it a day. You worked hard and it's already midnight."

Light looked at Ryuuzaki surprised. Normally, he didn't think about Light's basic needs as long as he himself didn't remind him that he wasn't an insomniac and actually had to sleep. According to Ryuuzaki, it wasn't even late… Usually if there was a hard case they were working to three or four am. What caused such a sudden change?

"It's nice of you Ryuuzaki-kun and I'd gladly take the opportunity to gather my thoughts and give mine brain cells a rest. But may you tell me if something happened? You're tired of my presence?" – At this words Ryuuzaki finally turned to look at Light. His face emotionless, unnaturally, even ghostly white.

"What does Light-kun try to say? His deduction in this matter is completely beyond my understanding." – Light sighed heavily. It was nothing new that Ryuuzaki tried to avoid a conversation when it gone even slightly personal…

"It's only that… usually you want me to work as long as it's possible and you don't care if I'm tired or not…"

"So Light-kun s imply states that my normal behavior towards him is not polite, am I right?"

"You cannot blame me for that… When it comes to human interactions you're like an oblivious child most of the time."

"In Light-kun's opinion taking care of other people and trying to make their life comfortable it's being polite and sociable?"

"Generally? Yes. It's natural empathy and good manners."

"I see and understand…"

"Really?" – Light asked somewhat distrustfully, taken again by surprise .

"Yes. But it doesn't change the fact it's also an unnecessary waste of time. I never considered myself as a nanny Light-kun. If someone has his limits it's his problem, not mine. I'm a detective. The best detective in the world. My goal is to bring justice so I have to be above such trivial stupidities." – he said, his charcoal eyes still fixed on Light, looking like he was bored.

"You call human kindness a stupidity?" – Light started to get angry with every cold and emotionless word coming from Ryuuzaki's mouth. – "If humans didn't care about others there would be anarchy and chaos."

"Law would change that. It's based on logic, which isn't hard for people to understand and follow."

"I believe that our work is like every other work to some point but I also know that it's essential because laws are broken every day. Human kindness and empathy grows out of morality. If we just try to live without it, we will be more deprived and corrupted than we already are." – he said wholeheartedly. - "You're a fool if you don't want to acknowledge it."

There was a certain sharpness in Ryuuzaki's eyes for a moment, really hard to catch, but Light had some experience in reading the man's demeanor lately, he didn't miss it.

"Yagami-kun will not call me a fool again if he wishes to live a little longer." – he stated coldly – "I may be impolite but I'm not stupid. If I find emotions redundant you have nothing to say or do about it."

"You're more than wrong now… You're nonsensical way of thinking affects my everyday life. Negatively. Face with that Ryuuzaki- kun."

"I said previously that I won't be Yagami-kun's puppet on a string. Leave if you want, nobody is stopping you…" - Light snorted rather loudly.

"You're so narrow-minded sometimes that I cannot believe you're actually L himself… This job is my vocation." – Light stood up and once more leaned over Ryuuzaki. – "You won't get rid of me so easily. You're a next mystery to me. I won't lose my opportunity to solve it…" - he whispered into Ryuuzaki's ear, almost touching it. The older man tensed slightly but didn't answer or move. – "I wanted to make it clear for you that even if you're not, I'm just a low human. I have emotions. That's something you really cannot change no matter how hard you'll try. And I will definitely show them around people… and around you." – he breathed into Ryuuzaki's ear. He just sat still, his pupils a little wider than usual. – "Now I can call it a day… Goodnight Ryuuzaki-kun. If you'll sleep, then sleep well…" - Light left the room quietly, leaving Ryuuzaki to himself again.


	3. We're All Humans Are We?

Aizawa and Mogi entered the headquarters at nine with Matsuda accompanying them. Both Aizawa and Mogi needed only one glance at Ryuuzaki to know that they should be very careful around him today or it will end badly… It meant no talking to him without clear permission, being as quiet as possible, making no stupid or better no jokes at all and no mentioning about taking breaks from work. Matsuda, not being the brightest sometimes, didn't notice a thing.

He greeted Light and Ryuuzaki cheerfully and started talking immediately. It was his usual babbling and with every second of it L was becoming more and more tensed.

"… and there was this big dog, a Mastiff probably. We didn't see it earlier so when it started to run I our direction…"

"Enough." – Ryuuzaki said. He didn't yell because there was no need to. His voice was sharp, cold and tight as a string ready to crack. Matsuda stopped at once.

"I'm… I'm sorry Ryuuzaki-san. I only wanted... I didn't think that…"

"Exactly, Matsuda-kun. You didn't think at all and I cannot stand it. If you want to share some silly stories, do that after your work and in my absence specifically." – The said man nodded with his head down and went to his computer. The whole room seemed so silent that others breaths were almost audible.

"Mogi-kun, Aizawa-kun, don't you have some information for me?" – Ryuuzaki snapped them back to reality. - "I would prefer to get back to work. It's unprofessional to waste precious time like that. So?" – Aizawa grunted and gave him a file folder.

"We've found victim's friends. Actually, the two of them. Jake Coleman and Sumiko Saito. They're both students from the same university as the victim. They went camping four days ago and came back yesterday evening around ten. They have an alibi. Their version was confirmed by neighbours and the owner of the campsite. They told us about Aurora's potential enemies, only some young, envious girls. It's a blind alley… ThedDetails are in the files we gave you." – Ryuuzaki nodded.

"Thank you Aizawa-kun, Mogi-kun. You may talk with the museum security guard when he will be released from the hospital." – They bowed and left the room quickly.

Light was angry once again and still fighting with himself if he should talk with Ryuuzaki. The way he was acting hasn't changed a bit… Light must admit that Matsuda's little "stories" were often annoying but it didn't gave Ryuuzaki the right to behave like that.

It was somehow out of his character. Yes, he wasn't sociable and didn't care about his co-workers but he was showing his lack of interest in their lives more polite. He simply didn't listen to them and didn't pretend to. He had that ability to turn deaf when it was for his benefit. You could speak to him for hours and he looked like you weren't even there. When someone, in the other hand, told something compromising him or when it could be valuable for the case, he would simply interrupt you in the middle of the sentence when you were sure that he hadn't heard a word…

What was the worst, no one was willing to go and admonish Ryuuzaki that his behaviour was unprofessional and rude. Light wasn't afraid of his reaction. It was just that… Almost all of his conversations with the man ended not exactly how he would like them to end. It was like a stalemate…

But if there was even a tiny percent possibility of Ryuuzaki changing his attitude towards others, he should try. It's not that he felt the need to stick up for Matsuda and other detectives… He would simply like to retain his sanity and working in constant tension was not advisable. So he stood up, determined.

"Ryuuzaki-kun, can I have a word with you? In private?" – Ryuuzaki looked at Light with some kind of mental fatigue and reluctance. He was obviously hesitating but suddenly he went to the door. The younger man didn't move firstly and L beckoned him impatiently.

"I don't have all day Light-kun. Are you going or is it a punishment, making me lose my time?" – Light shook his head and gone after him.

After a while, they entered a relatively small room. Ryuuzaki stood in the middle in his slouched posture. Thick dark hair covering his pale face and wide, unnerving eyes. He was looking at Light with his head pointed to the side, one hand in the pocket of his loose jeans and the other near his mouth where he was biting on his thumb.

"What does Light-kun want to say?"

"Wouldn't you like to sit first?" – the boy asked and Ryuuzaki smirked quietly.

"Ahh… I deduce that the subject is not to my liking then… You may proceed if you're not afraid of the possible consequences…"

"I'm not a retarded person Ryuuzaki-kun and I'm definitely not afraid of you… Firstly, it's my own initiative to talk with you, not the others…"

"So you don't want me to punish them for your mistake of talking with me?"

"As far as I know you could do that, yes. But it's not the main matter… You have to change your attitude toward us and I'm not joking… You should treat us with respect even if some are not as intelligent as you." – Light hanged his voice. Was that a chuckle? Did Ryuuzaki chuckled? He was… such an ass sometimes… This word just fitted him perfectly in this moment…

"Is it funny for you? When someone would treat you like you treated Matsuda-kun today would you laugh…?" – Another chuckle.

"It's a rhetorical question Light-kun. I am L…"

"It doesn't change a thing! We're all humans. Why are you acting like this? We're no servants… We won't agree to be treated like them."

"I can see only you complaining…" - Ryuuzaki said calmly.

"They're too afraid of you. They know that you could easily pull the right strings and ruin their career. It's pure common sense."

"I don't see anything wrong in this. It's their own choice. It's not my responsibility to provide them happiness and entertainment. It's not an amusement park… Is there something else Light-kun? As you know, I have work to do…" - he stated.

Light clenched his jaw, raw anger in his eyes.

"Are you afraid of people Ryuuzaki? That's why you won't let them to know you better? Why you're building all this walls and you're always try to be so secure? You don't want anyone around, at least not nearer than two meters from you. That's why you're so rude when someone tries to be kind and thoughtful to you? Why you're afraid of any form of intimacy even when it's only to comfort you?" – Words were leaving Light's mouth and he didn't think much about it. It was his monologue. He no longer cared for Ryuuzaki's answer. He didn't notice his now tight, slightly trembling fists.

It was only a matter of seconds. He didn't even have time to step back, make a move. He was absolutely frozen because, unexpectedly, he felt warmth. There were shaking hands around his back, hugging him tightly, awkwardly. Like they didn't know how they were suppose to do it right. Unruly, but surprisingly soft hair, was brushing his cheek and neck. He could smell some kind of a faint but sweet scent like… strawberries.

Light opened his eyes when Ryuuzaki's close presence was gone. The other's head was down, his body still trembling a little. Neither of them moved for some time, thinking intensively. Light was first to spoke.

"Ryuu… Ryuuzaki-kun? Why did you… What is that?" – L only tightened his fists once more.

"Nothing, Light-kun. Just… Forget about it."

"How can I forget something like that? You… hugged me." – he said quietly, trying to catch at least a glimpse of Ryuuzaki's eyes.

"I don't think it would be hard for you. It was only a simple touch." – Ryuuzaki told almost inaudibly.

"Were in the middle of a… fight and you… are hugging me. YOU! Someone who kicks people when they're standing too close, not even mentioning touching you… How am I suppose to forget? I am stunned, startled, confused… I could find many words for that…" - he paused, his hand moving to touch Ryuuzaki's jaw in order to let him see L's facial expression. It was slapped by Ryuuzaki before he could actually reach him.

"Stop! I was merely showing you that I'm not afraid of touching people. When I want to. When it's my own decision… The conversation is over Yagami-kun." – He said sharply and left the room abruptly.

Light sighed heavily. Ryuuzaki called him Yagami-kun…


	4. Painted Black

Ryuuzaki, in front of the computer, was pretending to read files. His head was spinning, he felt… overwhelmed. Angry and forlorn in the same time. But mostly… embarrassed. Which he hadn't experienced before. What he did… It was so stupid of him. He didn't even know why he did it in the first place… He lost control of himself. It wasn't like him, the great detective L… He put down his guard, let his anger act on his own. And the fruit of this hasty action was… He unconsciously shivered.

A hug. It might be nothing for most of people but for Ryuuzaki…

He was a touchy, withdrawn person with a need to control everything surrounding him. He also had his many oddities. His appearance: slouched posture, almost unnatural alabaster skin and dark bags under his eyes. His behavior: addiction to sweets and wearing shoes only when it was a necessity. He wasn't even nice to people, except for Watari…

Because of that, any kind of human touch, by all its means, was a novelty to him. And he was the one who initiated it… There was no sense and logic in it. Nothing for him to hold on to. He had tried to find a sensible, concrete reasoning which could explain this particular act… and failed. It turned out that psychotic murderers were easier to understand then he himself and his… emotions. Because it was it, wasn't it?

He could lie to himself, shifting the blame for stress or believe that he really wanted to show Light his ability to touch people. In his eyes it was an… ability. And actually, he didn't poses it… at all.

He was perfectly aware how his body was functioning in biological way. He knew where to hit if he wanted to immobilize somebody, make him unconscious or kill… He had the basic knowledge of first aid also. He could meditate or make a demonstration of some martial arts like capoeira, karate or kendo. He was a master in chess and tennis. He was speaking fluently in nine languages and had high computer skills. He had one of the highest IQ in the world.

But he couldn't act on his emotions and feel normal about it. He felt somehow guilty that he did show his emotions this once… Like it was a whim, not a necessity. He was a detective, L. He wasn't allowed to feel so freely, deeply. It was too humane… It could affect his job, his objectivity.

They always said him that feelings and emotions were a threat, a strain. So he learned to leave them behind, ignore them.

But Light was almost or as intelligent as he himself, a great detective and clearly… emotional. So could it be that… they were wrong? They tried to made a machine from him to their own benefit?

It was too much for him to bare with at once. He had an important case to solve after all. He had to catch the murderer. He WAS justice.

They were in a standstill and Light was furious. The security guard from the small gallery, who was, it seemed magically, deafened and left unconscious in security room, hadn't seen a thing. Four cameras were simply switched off.

They were currently holding an investigation without any actual leads and even circumstantial evidence. They were… in the middle of nowhere and the wind was blowing right into their faces, mocking them, playing on their nerves, knowing perfectly that they couldn't do a damn thing to change it right now.

Light was convinced that somewhere out there was their murderer, planning on his next move. He or she could be calculating in this very minute who would be the next victim, the little piece of sickly comprehended art…

The murderer could be looking with bloody eyes at the unsuspecting society rushing through the streets of Tokyo. Or maybe the pray has been picked akready. Next young, breathtakingly beautiful woman, a man with poetic, Adonis-like countenance, a little girl with a veil of fiery red hair and sapphire eyes. Too beautiful for her own good, because she was to noticeable, standing out. This was making her exceptional like a flashlight, a burning flame in the darkness surrounding her, a crowd of plainly looking people. Maybe someone had somehow a congenial name or there was a beauty spot or a freckle, which made him, her the right person to be killed and became a "masterpiece"…

Light crashed his tight fist into the desk in front of which he was sitting. It wasn't a challenge. It was a paranoia! It was terrifying, haunting him, making him lose his sleep. It wasn't like his previous cases. He couldn't be so composed, dispassionate. It affected him greatly, more than in one way… He wanted control, peace of mind like Ryuuzaki seemed to have…

Yes… That… unreadable creature. So organized, rational, cold headed when everyone was watching and so vulnerable when you pushed the right button. You're turning your back for a moment and there is this… utterly new person. Even if for a split second, but it is there…

Light was surprised how Ryuuzaki had managed to keep his guard for so long. Despite that, he still envied L to some point. He had many cases like their present one. He probably thought of it like another one to solve and that was all. No unnecessary emotional problems.

In this particular moment, being cold and aloof had actually many advantages in Light's opinion. Maybe he will simply ask Ryuuzaki about it? It shouldn't unsettle him this time… It should even flatter him. After all, Light considered acting like L himself…

It was one am and once again it was only him and Ryuuzaki in the silent room. There was no need to talk earlier. But now it was… for Light. So he turned to face the other man, to see his unblinking eyes fixed on him. His first thought was if he had done something wrong. And there was an answer…

"Light-kun had tried to ruin the desk. I must inform him that the person, who paid for it was me and I would not like to buy another one every time Light-kun has an intelligent idea to take his stress or anger out on it." – Impossible… He hasn't even said a word yet! Light just clutched the bridge of his nose for a moment to calm down. He could do it…

"I'm sorry Ryuuzaki-kun. It won't happen again."

"Very well. I think that Light-kun wouldn't like to bear the cost of the damage. His salary isn't six-figure and so he would probably have to give up on some of his specialist hair products."

"And it would be such a waste… You will probably miss the view of the only decent looking man you probably know… Then your work could be affected and we cannot afford that, so stop this poor sarcasm and listen to me for once… Could you?" – he looked Ryuuzaki in the eyes.

"If Light-kun's so desperate for it…"

"Actually, I am… I would like to ask for your advice Ryuuzaki-kun."

"Light-kun and asking for an advice? I am all ears…"

"I want this once to dissent from the case… emotionally. And I think that you're the best person to made this possible for me… How do you manage it?" – Rather straightforward but it was Ryuuzaki. There was no need to beat around the bush.

"I don't think that it is what Light-kun would really like. Moreover, I cannot take responsibility for making Light-kun emotionless, even if it's short-termed."

"Why? You're functioning this way almost all the time. What about your constant talking about useless emotions and such…? You considered it professional. You don't want me to become professional like you? Is it about you being always the best? Always two steps ahead from me?" – This conversation wasn't going well. Again… It could be a curse or something similar. It wasn't normal for two intelligent men to argue about every single thing… Or maybe it was…

Ryuuzaki's eyes darkened momentarily. But he didn't look angry… It was something else what Light, this time, couldn't name.

"Light-kun would change his wish if he had thought twice. Light-kun wouldn't like to became so akin to me. I don't want to see Light-kun a cold bastard as I am. It's out of question. Light-kun would stay an emotional, explosive but humane person and it would serve him well."

"What you're saying doesn't have any sense… Where is Ryuuzaki-kun? Where is L that I know?"

"Oh, he is right in front of you Light-kun and that's why he is telling you all of this. I am what I am but you don't have to become like that, so I will prevent this from happening. I experienced a lot, which Light-kun hadn't. I am predestined for my job, there is no coming back for me. I am justice. I am L. But L is known as a letter. Light-kun is flesh and blood. Light-kun won't waste that as long as I am here…"


	5. Curiosity Killed The Cat?

Pandora's box has been opened and it didn't matter by whom. Important was to ensure that it wouldn't be their downfall. And Light felt it was his responsibility. His question led to Ryuuzaki's answer and it was logical. But the answer itself? Wasn't… Because Ryuuzaki revealed a part of himself to Light and it made the boy insecure.

The simple part? The cause of Light's insecurity was in his lack of knowledge of Ryuuzaki's motive and it was something sure. But there was also a harder, more complicated part. He didn't know if he wanted to learn more… he had to make a fast decision and use careful words as to not alarm Ryuuzaki's leery persona.

Was it worth it? What would it change? If he will cross the drawn line between two co-operating detectives and make it more personal, trying to know Ryuuzaki better… wouldn't he regret it? Well… a drowning man will clutch at a straw. So he clutched…

"This is what a friend would do, Ryuuzaki-kun…" - he stated calmly – "Why is it so important to you? Me, being emotional and humane…" - Ryuuzaki looked at him. His voice monotone as usual but his eyes… There was a new undertone in those dark depths. It hasn't been concern yet but a shade of unexpected seriousness, meaning that it wasn't just hollow talking, some pay lip service…

"Light-kun is my equal and the only person, except Watari, who somehow understands me. We may fight and be galling and damned irritating for each other but when we're working, we can, most of times, easily put it aside. I don't have to repeat myself when I'm with Light-kun, he knows my reasoning. He finds me irksome, annoying, though he tries to cope with me, even when I'm trying to be like that on purpose… Light-kun is a valuable, intelligent person and I as well understand him to some point. I know that he would have changed completely if he would became too similar to me. He would lose himself. I cannot afford to lose him, such a good detective. So Light-kun is condemned for my company…"

"It was probably the longest monologue that I have heard from you this entire time I know you, Ryuuzaki-kun." – Light tried not to chuckle and he hardly managed it. Ryuuzaki's words weren't funny. Just… the whole situation was a little bit… hilarious in his eyes. He had attempted to become as unemotional as Ryuuzaki and here he was… informed by the said man that it was no good for him. The man, who seemed to suddenly appreciate him as a person, a detective. – "I must admit I am flattered that you decided to be so honest with me. I know that you don't usually do it and so it must be hard for you. I would like to compensate it to you and share some of my thoughts and uncertainties, Ryuuzaki-kun." - L only nodded. – "I don't know where our investigation is drifting. We don't have any proof, nothing… My dreams are full of mannequins and dolls pulled by merciless strings, causing them only pain, agony… I cannot stop it. That's why I wanted to be emotionless. Feelings… are just too disturbing." – Ryuuzaki bit on his thumb maybe a hundredth time this… early morning, wasn't it?

"I would like to help Light-kun but I am afraid I have no required power or abilities. Light-kun has a blurred vision of me and so he thinks that I'm not affected by others. I am neither when I'm sitting here right now with you, nor when I'm sitting in front of my computer, solving cases. I had learned that many years ago Light-kun and it took me as many years of training. But I had to pay an unbelievable price for that. Most of people sees in me a detective, not a person. I am L, their unwaveringly dependable human-machine, which solves cases one after another. I may have their respect but it's mostly caused by fear and stupidity. I repulse them in many ways but the need me. I am aware of that and it doesn't bother me because they're not important, only like pawns on a chessboard. I am using them to bring justice. And I cannot see anything wrong about it. I was created by them to some point. I have learned to think on my own when I was very young, but they had the time to affect me and my personality. It's pure psychology. As I said, they are repulsed by my appearance, oddities, habits but they repulse me, because I can see what they're trying to hide, their rotten cores… I won't allow it to be seen by them. It will be unprofessional, not worth the price, which not only I would have to pay, the society also… And so I'm not unaffected. When something is bothering me I just easily put it aside. I had seen so many atrocious things, people that they lost their overwhelming effect. They also cannot haunt my dreams because I hardly sleep. I'm an insomniac after all… There is no way you will be going the same path. I could only advise you to learn how to meditate. That particular skill helps to clear one's thoughts…"

"I… thank you Ryuuzaki-kun…" - Light felt like he was in some other dimension, where Ryuuzaki confided in him finally. He had learned so much about the man that is stunned him. Well yes, all of it was said in Ryuuzaki's old manner, with his monotone voice and almost emotionless face, but what he said enlightened Light as to why he was acting like that. It put the irritating man into a new light. It made him more interesting than before. It was worth it… "I don't consider you repulsive, Ryuuzaki-kun and I don't think I ever would. And you're far to intelligent to be treated just like a tool. You are a human to me and I would like you to remember that. I would also like to offer you my friendship, because I think we are too alike and bound by our work to not become friends…" - Ryuuzaki refused.

"I cannot accept it. I simply… don't know how. I may know a dictionary definition of friendship but I didn't personally experienced it. And so I don't know what lies beneath the words of friendship even…"

"Oh, we're both competitive Ryuuzaki-kun. We could make from this our personal challenge…"

"A challenge out of friendship Light-kun? It's not somehow wrong and against the purpose of it?"

"Maybe it is, but we're also not up to normal standards… We're exceptional and our friendship will be as well. And it will be a challenge, because we both will have to fight with our habits and some… well, flaws. We should face it, we have them…" - Light said sarcastically – "We will have to find compromises too. It won't be easy but it will definitely be exciting… Will you take up the challenge?"

"And have I ever tried not to win when you were participating, Light-kun?" – Ryuuzaki lifted the corner of his mouth. It hasn't been a smile yet, but maybe in some time it could bloom into one…


	6. The Twist

**Author's Note:** The story was re-posted as I made some small changes in it, as well as corrected mistakes in writing.

* * *

It was lunch time but Light wasn't eating. Currently he was absorbed by hilarious, or some would say by the look on his face, unhealthy observations of a certain creature. Well, rather a certain human being to be honest... Light was disgusted and engrossed, fascinated in the same time by the... spectacle taking place in front of him. Ryuuzaki was wrapping strawberry jelly laces around his tongue. And he didn't need his other hand to do that. Just this... dexterous tongue of his. It wasn't eating anymore. It really was like a performance or at least something having many in common with it. It couldn't be normal! It has to be some kind of a swerve, fixation. He was about to ask Ryuuzaki bluntly what was the cause of it, just wanting the man to stop his strange ministrations, but Watari's face suddenly appeared on L's computer screen and it effectively stopped his, somewhat silly, intent.

"L, there was another murder. I am sending you the exact location. The rest of the team will be informed shortly. The car is waiting in front of the building already."

"Thank you, Watari. I and Light-kun will be down in a minute." - the older man nodded as usually and disappeared from the screen. - "Light-kun is forced to eat his lunch later, I think. There is a dead body waiting for us in the West Tokyo Library..."

* * *

And there was... But it wasn't the only one. Because this time there were two bodies. Two women. Killed in the same way as the previous victim. Dismembered and connected with metal rods. However the picture was different. Bodies were telling another story, a new one... They were placed in the middle of the library's hall, facing the door, so if someone would enter the building, he would have been immediately greeted by this... sculpture. Light thought that these women were purposely juxtaposed.

One had astonishingly, inconceivably fair hair and ivory, unblemished skin, the other could be compared to a bronze statue with her hair jet black, like the darkest depths of the human mind and heart. While the first woman was dressed in a pitch-black robe, making her even more pale, ghostly white, the second one had a white robe, dissenting substantially from her dark, brass-like skin. Eyes, azure and succulent green, were the only parts of their faces visible from behind the golden masks, comic and tragic, which they were holding in their hands, making it impossible to read almost a single thing from their expression. They were standing close to each other, probably because of the bronze globe resting in the cradle made of their outstretched hands. The globe representing the Earth. Women's eyes were fixed on it intensely, like they were trying to posses it, or maybe it has already been in their possession... Who could have known that?

There was another thing that Light was trying to comprehend at this moment. Why was comedy wearing black and tragedy white? It should have been the opposite, right? But here they were, in this deadly but god-like glory, confusing them, daring them to look for the unspoken once again. All of this was so surreal that Light had to ask Ryuuzaki if he saw it to...

"Oh, I see it quite clearly, Light-kun. But I cannot exactly say that it stunned or surprised me. After all, there is consequence in what's before us. I am even certain that we can find connection with Greek mythology here. I actually think that this women are the Muses, ancient goddesses of art and science. Concluding from their attributes, masks, we probably see Thalia, goddess of comedy and Melpomene, goddess of tragedy. Why they're holding the globe together? Normally it was Urania who held it, since she was the goddess of astronomy... It's something to be explained yet."

"How do you know all of this, Ryuuzaki-kun?"

"I have wide breadth of knowledge, Light-kun. I told you that I have been educated thoroughly. Besides, it's not uncommon to know something like that if you're interested in literature and theatre, for example. You don't have to be an expert in mythology. Many things are connected..."

"Well, it looks like I should broaden my horizons a little bit..." - Light only raised his eyebrow, smirking slightly. - "Back to the kernel of the case, we should actually move and look for evidence. Maybe will have some luck and our murderer had forgotten about something this time..."

"It could be... Let's look then. We'll examine the bodies and the others will check the room. We have no time to waste..." - Ryuuzaki said and quickly move to talk with the rest of the present team and give them orders.

Light thought that they looked similar to him. Definitely stunned but also afraid of what the future could bring... It wasn't an open fear for their own lives. It was rather an oblique fright tracing subtle lines of uncertainty on their faces, revealing some of the questions harrowing them. How many victims before they'll catch the perpetrator? Will the number increase constantly? Is it a woman or a man? Who is it? Did I see him or her on the street on a sunny, cloudless day when I was going for some fresh milk or he is hiding somewhere, leaving his den only for the hunt? Why...?

There were no answers, merely assumptions and speculations for now. Though they won't let this fright overcome them. Well, Light won't... It will be there, probably not leaving his side but he'll silence it, diminish it to a whisper when it will become to loud and make it his motivation when his current one, simple wish for justice and peaceful life, won't be strong enough. And this certain one will surely do. Because Light hated to be weak, especially when his weakness ensued from fear or uncertainty.

It was something entirely else when you could see your enemy, know that it had a certain shape. But human with his emotions was sometimes his biggest foe itself and Light had to admit it, albeit very reluctantly. After all, he tried to convince Ryuuzaki that emotions weren't his mortal enemy and that statement could be like a stud to his own casket. Light knew that Ryuuzaki has been aware of that already and he just didn't think about that in connection with their previous case. Light wasn't a moron, so he kept his mouth shut about that little detail and his own feelings about that matter... Thoughtfully, all of this become temporarily insignificant because there was something to do he was the best at... hard, meticulous work.

And it paid off. After about three hours of comprehensive examination Light had finally found a clue, to be precise, two fingerprints under Comedy's, as they called her for now, ear, sufficiently defined to diagnose to whom they belonged to. But as one of his British acquaintances said, you don't count your chickens before they hatched, as to not be disappointed. Besides, Light actually had some common sense and he knew that reality was probably to crude to made their work that easy... And, as he and Ryuuzaki suspected earlier, there would be no such fingerprints in any database to compare them with. But if they will... No! When they will catch the murderer, those fingerprints will become an actual evidence and help them to convict the culprit for his atrocious, inhuman acts. That was enough to make Light pleased for now...

* * *

If you start to pretend something, someone in any way possible, you'll way to easily, to quickly become someone you're not. You'll start to believe into your own lies, to believe into something you didn't want to believe no matter what. You'll lose yourself for something you don't even understand completely. For something black, untrue, hidden under beautiful words, ideas, visions...You'll become the lie itself. And when you'll want to turn back to the one you knew then you'll realize it may be to late for you... Because who have you been before? Who were you now? How to find yourself when your mind and heart keep silent? Will the remain pieces of 'you' fit together?

How to fight against your own defeat? Is it even possible? Is it worth trying? The shreds of your old self, the shreds of your heart, mind and... soul will be all that's left. Only sherds... That's how it will be.

L couldn't see that so vividly earlier or he didn't want to. But he could see it now. Light made him realize it... Was it really to late to do something, to react, to change? And there supposed to be this... friendship thing between him and Light. He looked at the boy, sitting at the table and eating his late lunch with the corner of his eye. It shouldn't be important for him as L. It was with no guaranteed benefit for him. He wasn't even capable of counting percentage in this situation. If it won't work, it could have negative influence on his work for sure because of his partnership with Light. The question was... how big?

Being honest with himself, he had to concede that vision of his relations with Light developing was far more disturbing than a possible fiasco. And it rang an alarm bell in his head. It shouldn't be that way... He should have been emotionless about it, it should make no difference for him. But it did. Somehow it did. And he hadn't got a slightest idea what to do about it... Maybe for once in his life he should 'go with the flow'...? Even if it wasn't something calculative, thoroughly thought-out. Consequences of his decision will reveal itself in time, there was no doubt about it... L sighed, breathed deeply and turned to Light, gnawing at his left thumb.

"What would Light-kun say for some cake and coffee and after that maybe a nice play of chess with me?"


	7. Dancing Barefoot

Light looked at Ryuuzaki from above his sandwich, which suddenly happened to have too much mayonnaise in it, the bread wasn't so fresh as it should and the slices of tomato appeared to be strangely small... It was like his meal magically lost its taste and a piece of cake, no matter that he didn't crave sweets so much, started to be appealing. He tried to control his face, to hide that he was genuinely surprised by Ryuuzaki's proposition. It actually came out of nowhere... In one minute the man was eating some cola jellies, reading files and in the other he was asking him to spend their time together. Not working, but eating and playing chess. Like normal people would do. Like... friends? Was it possible that Ryuuzaki was trying to act like a friend? It must have been it! Because it wasn't his way to act so... kind, out of the blue. What else could Light do if not accept his offer? Acting cool and relaxed, like his normal self of course...

"You're already eating cake, Ryuuzaki-kun." - he raised his eyebrow slightly.

"I have noticed, Light-kun. But you know, as well as I, that I am capable of digesting greater amount of sweets then a normal, average human being. And so I am asking if you want to... keep me company. You don't have to worry, my stomach is bigger than my appearance would suggest. Actually, a lot bigger. Only when it's about sweets, thought. I thought Light-kun had noticed it and that it even irritated him to some point. Was I wrong?" - he tilted his head to the right.

"No, you weren't. Your sweet-tooth is something impossible to neglect. I just don't know if I want to personally promote such an unhealthy addiction of yours. You definitely eat to much sugar. No matter you're thin or I should say... skinny. This sugar is assimilated by your body and it could not end well in my opinion. Sooner or later you will get fat and die of some cardiac disease, or just die, without getting fat..." - Light smirked. - "I don't plan dying young from a disease I could have prevented, so I would be left by you in this cruel world... alone. Do you want me to die from boredom or committing a suicide, preluded by a mental illness caused by no one intelligent enough to conduct interesting and not tedious conversation with? It would be actually your fault, Ryuuzaki-kun..." - Light said with false affection.

"There are so many ways to say no and you had to choose the longest one, Light-kun. You are really starting to make a habit from wasting my time... Next time, say 'no' simply. I assure you, I will understand." - L said and calmly turned attention to his earlier abandoned cake. Light laughed quietly and Ryuuzaki raised his head.

"May I ask why you're laughing, Light-kun?"

"I just thought that you gave up quickly upon your idea of us spending some time together. You didn't even try to convince me. Maybe it was only out of politeness? Was it?" - Light asked in a teasing manner.

"It was not and you should know that, Light-kun. I was absolutely sincere. Wasn't you the one who talked about friendship so much? I just tried being friendly. Spending time with your friend should be something normal. Correct me if I'm wrong, once again..."

"Okay, I give up!" - the younger man lifted his hands above his head with a wide smile on his face. - "It was silly of me to tease you so much... But being to eager is not 'Yagami' style, even if a certain L is considered, wouldn't you agree with me?"

"I would rather say 'Light's' style..." "Point taken..." - he shrugged his shoulders, smirking. - "Back to our main subject, I actually want to spend time with you, Ryuuzaki-kun. But I would appreciate it if we could skip the cake and go straight to chess. I have just eaten my lunch..."

"All right. I could always ask Watari for some cake if I will get hungry during our game... We have some free time before we'll get an analysis of those fingerprints and decide what to do so we should use it somehow... "

"Great! The headquarters' library... We could play there if you want." - Ryuuzaki nodded simply and they left the room together.

Light thought that it would be a nice break from their current work. Playing chess with Ryuuzaki was always a great fun, demanding hard, forward thinking. Maybe he could try to make it even more entertaining this time? They were trying to be friends now... Ryuuzaki made his move, now it was Light's turn. No way he would miss such a great opportunity to learn something more about his partner... He had only induce him to play along. It wasn't out of his reach...

* * *

The library was one of the biggest rooms in the headquarters, probably on Ryuuzaki's wish. Books were probably his biggest love, right after his work, sweets and computers, actually quite high in his hierarchy if you ever were to consider it... Bookshelves, only a little higher then Ryuuzaki, so he could reach them without a problem, filled almost the entire room, leaving space only under the southern wall, which couldn't be seen first from behind the shelves. But it was cosy in Light's opinion. A fireplace, even now burning brightly, was casting a warm, golden glimmer on everything. In front of it was a mahogany table with a green sofa on its one side and two armchairs on the other. What surprised Light the most was a plush, brown rug under it, because he didn't see one in the entire headquarters before. Spending his time here? Pure relax... It seemed that Ryuuzaki sometimes used his head for something else than work.

He seated himself on the couch when the other man looked for the box of chess. Light decided that he will convince him to make a wager out of their game. What the beaten one would have to do was to be to discussed of course... Indeed exciting... It was hard to think about something that Light wanted and Ryuuzaki could accept... He was considering his winning of course... But he had to stop his planning because Ryuuzaki came back.

"Would Light-kun mind if I will have the black pieces?" - he asked politely, sitting in one of the armchairs, in front of Light.

"You want the black ones? Really?" - it was something new...

"I just feel like it today. If it's a problem we could always draw."

"No, no... There is no need to. I don't care which ones I would play with..." - if Ryuuzaki wanted black, he could have them.

"Thank you, Light-kun. So it's your move first..." - he stated.

"Actually, I have a proposition for you before we start our game... To make it more... interesting, challenging. What would you say?" - he looked at the man with his eyebrow lifted once more, believing he would intrigue Ryuuzaki enough to listen to his conception. And he did.

"What idea is spinning through Light-kun's head this time?" - L started to lightly rock back and forth in his usual, crouched position in the armchair.

"A wager... A bet. The winner of this particular game will have the pleasure to watch the other one fulfilling his one request, which we could settle now, so we won't have to accept the unknow... You're in?" - It would end with Light using more persuading skills probably. He was just thinking about some proper arguments, however Ryuuzaki didn't need his time to think.

"Yes." - A simple, monosyllabic answer. Not expected but a kind surprise.

"You have me here... I didn't think you will agree so easily. It doesn't matter though. We have only one thing to do. Our requests... It's something to debate over probably. You or me first? I have some ideas. Do you?" - Light smiled with the corner of his mouth, enjoying his sudden victory. Theoretically, half of a victory, but who would have cared right now...?

"Light-kun can go first." - Ryuuzaki began to bite at his thumb what was undeniably a part of his thinking process and maybe... nervousness.

"I want you to spend your entire day with me. Out of work, somewhere I would choose of course. And it will involve changing somewhat your normal, usual attire. I'd like you to look like a normal member of the society, so people would treat us like others, not asking some stupid questions about you and stealing our time..."

"And how does a normal member of the society look like?" - Ryuuzaki asked, balancing constantly on the edge of his armchair. To Light, he seemed a little bit tensed...

"Oh, you don't have to worry about that right now, Ryuuzaki-kun. I would assist you in this task and I promise not to choose something only to tease you, like a girlishly pink top and things alike... I believe we will find a compromise." - Light smiled. It wasn't his usual grin but a friendly one, in order to reassure Ryuuzaki of his true intentions.

"I agree if Light-kun will give me right to one veto. It's common sense... You cannot disagree, can you?"

"I probably cannot. So? If it's your only remark we can talk about your request... What is it?" - Light was actually very curious. He had some suspicions but Ryuuzaki had managed to surprise him and was unpredictable many times before... How will it end today?

"My proposition will not require some silly things like changing clothes. I'd like to ask Light-kun, let it be... ten questions, related with him. And it should be bounding for about a month, so I wouldn't have to ask all of the questions at once... Light-kun will have the right to twice refuse answering my question and I will choose another one instead of it. I will be generous..." - Ryuuzaki lifted the corner of his mouth but Light could see that he was serious about his 'request'.

Because it really was serious and Light had a hard time to consider pluses and minuses of his eventual agreement. If he will, there was no way he would lie to Ryuuzaki. Well, not downright... It was his, now considered stupid, pride. A bet was a bet. What if even with his right to not accept two questions, he would have to answer something too private or... embarrassing? He wasn't so easy to be embarrassed but it was Ryuuzaki... He could probably think out a great number of such questions not even knowing it, without real intentions... Once again, was it worth the risk? Oh, what the hell... Why not?

"Deal." - he passed his hand to Ryuuzaki in order to seal their bet.

"Deal, Light-kun" - Ryuuzaki grasped his hand after a moment of hesitation, looking him straight in the eyes and quickly released it. - "Your move..."

"Indeed. Let's the game begin so the best could win..." - Light smiled brightly. It was going to be a long play and he will use his every braincell to win. Ryuuzaki could be positive about that... - "Bishop on..."


	8. Breakin' Me

**Author's Note:** Hi again! I'm after all of my exams and now I can focus on this fanfic better. I hope you'll like my ideas. A Buck-Tick song called 'Clown loves Senorita' somehow inspired me I think... And that's why this chapter have a certain, let me call it, shape...

* * *

Light wasn't superstitious but the current situation made him wonder about the base of his convictions. He just couldn't believe it... It wasn't simple bad luck. It was an ironic disaster, which was the reason of the boy's doubt and bewilderment. He sat on the green sofa, in the exact place where the game had begun, staring with dismay at the chess board and Ryuuzaki, who was still sitting at the end of his armchair, silent, crouched and immobile. Emotions, feelings floated through him. Surprise, disappointment, irritation, funk... expectation. How silly...

"I didn't win..."- Light stated, astonishment audible in his voice.

"Would it be really so startling? I mean you losing of course, Light-kun. It wasn't our first play together and you had lost before a few times... Why would it be different to lose today?" - Ryuuzaki was looking at the younger man without blinking, his gaze unnerving, questioning.

"Because... Because I was the one to win... And..." - Actually, Light thought that he was surprised to be so startled himself. He wanted to win this bet badly, yes, but he had played with Ryuuzaki, L and there was a high possibility of him winning even if he didn't want to acknowledge it before they started. It was all because of his damn pride, ego and unhealthy desire to win this one time without a doubt. Why was he even thinking so much about such a stupid thing? He had to calm down before losing his mind completely... - " It doesn't matter..."

"If you say so... Besides, being accurate, I didn't win either so you're not a proverbial loser, Light-kun. What do we do now with our bet?" - Ryuuzaki was very serene and Light had no idea why... Neither of them won or lost. A stalemate... What's ironic, it didn't happen until this point... There was only one option Light was ready to accept now.

"I think that we should treat it like both of us won the game. I will answer your questions and you will spend an entire day with me..."

"It seems that Light-kun wants his time with me very badly... Should I be alarmed? It's highly unusual..."

"It wouldn't be if you were a little bit more social, you know? It's not my fault that I'm the only person ready to bear with 'your' queer fish persona... Some are even deadly afraid of your possible reactions in countless situations that may take place. They shouldn't be blamed for that also... It's like a reflex action. But in the same time, I cannot see why I wouldn't want it badly. I'm your partner, both of us are intelligent, ironic and treasure justice. We're, as I said before, alike. Plus... You're very mysterious, you don't talk much about yourself and your life. It's natural for a man like me to be interested in you, don't you think?"

"No, I actually don't... I always thought that a man of your kind would despise me. That, despite my achievements as a detective, you will think of the way I am as comical and because of that, beyond acceptance. Light-kun were and still are straight and organized in his acts, polite most of times and have ideal looks... To the world, a perfect young man. How could I thought he would want me by his side, as his friend? I'm not even near perfect... Not at all..." - Ryuuzaki stated calmly, one of his long-fingered hands occupied with Light's white queen. It was somehow unsettling, sending a shiver down Light's spine. In this moment he didn't want to know what was hidden in Ryuuzaki's mind or rather his subconsciousness...

"I hate to admit that I had flaws after all... But it's true. Yagami Light is not perfect, he only seems to be to those who are to blind to see through his diligently and smartly built façade, image. Aren't you the first one to see more then only this display, exhibition of highly-regarded but often useless features? You're not the only with bottled feelings, judgements and opinions. Being yourself isn't easy in the world full of prejudice, discrimination, greed and such..." - he frowned his forehead and laughed shortly. - "So cliché and you didn't stop me Ryuuzaki-kun. You should have spared my dignity and now it's ruined... Completely."

"Something as developed as Light-kun's dignity couldn't be ruined. At least not so easily... Apart from this, there is some truth in this cliché, so don't you worry Light-kun, you can keep your head high..." - he said, one eye closed, the other focused at a certain queen.

"I believe we should put an end to this conversation. We're becoming more and more silly with every passing second... I would like to avoid further discredit. I'm quite okay with you thinking of how smart and eloquent I am. There is no need to sabotage myself then... Isn't that time for some cake, Ryuuzaki-kun?" - Light smiled slightly, knowingly.

"And here I could not disagree. That simple statement made Light-kun more intelligent in my eyes than he could probably imagine..." - L raised himself from the armchair and left the room. Light could caught a glimpse of Ryuuzaki putting the white queen into his pocket...

* * *

Something was wrong, very wrong. He could felt it... He opened his eyes but light didn't greet him, only thick, all-embracing darkness. It was impossible to see a single thing through it. Then he realized that some strange music was within his hearing, volume increasing with every passing second. After a moment it was beyond point of ignoring. The sounds were somehow familiar. He could describe them only as peculiar, causing anxiety, insecurity. Constant rhythm of cymbals, bells and drums. Like he was ten again, sitting in a circus, which he hated at heart because of the locked animal and clowns, more scaring than funny in his opinion. It made him wait in suspense for what was to come next. And with this coerced blindness it was torturous. He couldn't decide what to do, when sudden brightness almost blinded him for real, making him squint his eyes. Slowly, he started to distinguish the surroundings. Shock was so great, it took his breath away and he started to cough madly, trying not to suffocate.

He was standing on an enormous chess board, walls around him in a black and white check as well. He had also company... A white pawn, a marble queen exactly, was at the other end of the board. She was simply there, motionless, seeming colder than ice, wearing her marble crown incrusted with black stones, probably onyxes. And that particular thing reminded him of someone he had known, he was sure of it. But why he couldn't remember that person's name? He had it on the tip of his tongue... It was like forgetting your own name...

His intense thinking was interrupted by one hand appearing on the queen's left arm. It was undeniably human, long-fingered and almost as white as the marble itself. There was a second hand on the queen's right arm not long after and finally a head joined to them. A head belonging to a man not so different from a chess piece he was hidden behind. His complexion unblemished, milky white, raven hair and eyes darker than the blackest night, more alluring than precious onyxes from the crown and blazing with hidden emotions.

The man started to kiss the queen's neck slowly, locking eyes with Light, who couldn't look away no matter how badly he wanted it. It was stirring him up, moving some unknown string inside of him. He didn't want that man to touch the queen. His lips weren't suppose to be on her marble neck. She wasn't alive. She was cold as the stone she was made of. She had no feelings, she couldn't respond to his gentle, loving touches so she didn't deserve them. Light tried to speak now, move to disrupt this strange contact, so unwanted by him. Why was even this man near that unworthy creature? Why was he looking at him so intensely while touching 'it'? Was it a punishment of some kind? What Light had done wrong?

He wanted it to stop because now the man started to kiss the statue's earlobe and it hurt Light almost physically. He realized he was jealous. He wanted the attention. Wasn't HE worth it? Wasn't he...? And then it hit him. He remembered...

It was Ryuuzaki.

A weak moan exited his mouth and at that the queen lifted her marble eyelids, gold eyes staring at him with cruel delight. One sentence came from her ice-cold mouth...

"You'd lost this one, Light... completely." - At that she suddenly grabbed Ryuuzaki's hand and they both vanished, leaving him alone. He felt throbbing pain in his chest, still not able to move, just look before him into the overwhelming emptiness. Emptiness... It was so devastating. Ryuuzaki...

"Ryuuzaki..." - Light opened his eyes, his heart beating fast, face sweaty, hands trembling. Immediately he felt a great relief. A dream. Just a dream... He looked around. He was in his own bed where he finally landed after working to three in the morning with Ryuuzaki on their case. Ryuuzaki, exactly... Why was he dreaming about him... like that? What was the meaning of it? Maybe he was spending to much time with him lately after all? Was that it? Or it was about his earlier loss or rather a stalemate and their bet? He had to admit, he was afraid of L's questions. He didn't know what to expect... Yeah, it had to be it. It definitely was! Calmer, but not exactly convinced, Light checked his watch. It was six am. He had two more hours of sleep. This time he won't dream. Well, certainly not about his partner... He will control himself. He always could, couldn't he...?


	9. As The Rush Comes

**Author's Note:** I wanted to thank everyone for the former rewievs and adding my story to their favourite. It means a lot to me, really... I hope to write at the current pace and update quickly.

What's between L an Light is developing as you can see but I'm still deliberating how it will exactly evolve. For now... You'll see.

* * *

Hypocrites. Every single one of them. Man wearing their most expensive suits and women brand-name dresses. Their fake smiles and compliments, affected comments... All of it was a lie. Big, foul, abominable, collective lie. They were talking all the time, sharing lofty, sublime theories without actual meaning. They had some knowledge but it couldn't mask the lack of fire in their words, hearts.

It was rousing rage, disgust. Someone should do something to change that, to free this world from useless, vapid, inane units and replace it with the better ones, authentic and uncommon. The ones that could and wanted something more than money and approval. The ones that had actual taste, ingeniousness and valued the greatness of mutability. They could derive from the past, canon but not manifold it completely like many nowadays. They couldn't follow others blindly... The ones with individual views were of great worth...

It had been a challenge to take up and it was being fulfilled... There was no way of stopping this... There was no way of stopping fate...

* * *

Ryuuzaki didn't like quoting others but he was in a situation were Shakespeare's words were more than adequate. They were depicting it ideally. Because more than a half of humanity was helplessly trying to appear perfect, interesting, worth meeting to others. Not to a group of people, friends. It would be to easy... They felt the need to be admired by hundreds, millions and even more... It was their biggest goal. To be seen on a pedestal. Some were downright and sincere about it, some were hiding it, didn't want to seem needy and what came out of that, weak. So as Shakespeare said:

"All the world's a stage, and all the man and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances, And one man plays many parts, His acts being seven ages."

Ryuuzaki was already odd. He didn't need schizophrenia add to the list. So why was he standing here, waiting to be changed into someone he's not? He didn't want it... He had his role already. Only one and it suited him well in his opinion. In his work he was L and there was no need to be showing off. He was working with his brain, not demonstrating his appearance... Besides, there was nothing to demonstrate even if he wanted to. He had accepted it long time ago, so why make useless efforts? It was doomed from the beginning. Light was just being naive right now... Couldn't he see that or maybe didn't want to grant his defeat?

Ryuuzaki was wondering how long will it take for him to admit it and resign from this particular part of their deal... Light was an unhealthy stubborn person, so... Great. He was stuck here for at least an hour... In his personal living hell. Clothes shop... It was also his own fault and it didn't help him a bit to endure it. Who will lighten his torment? Wait a minute... Lighten? What a great choice of words... To emphasize his own, rapidly growing stupidity Light had entered the fitting room with his hands full of various parts of attire. Did he think hell? Oh, it was something definitely worse...

"I took things I think will look not only good but great on you, so it's less to try on..." - Light smiled, noticeably satisfied. Was he insane?

"Less? This is less? Light-kun is a mad man... It will took hours to put all of this on. And I won't look better than now at the end. This is not about clothes, Light-kun, it's about... me." - Ryuuzaki accented with his hands, desperate.

"You just pointed to all of you..." - Light stated.

"Because that's how it is... I'm not Light-kun... I'm Ryuuzaki, L. The odd, slouched man with no sense of fashion and scary eyes... And I'm good with that. Why can't you? Why can't Light-kun leave it?" - L groaned silently. He couldn't refuse because of their bet, so persuading Light was the only way to get out of this.

"Have you ever really tried to look decent or this is just lame talking? Personally, I think it's the second option. A deal is a deal. I won't change my mind. You're losing your time right now. If you start changing now, we'll be through this much faster. So?" - The younger man waited for an answer with his eyebrow lifted, as usual.

"Did I say Light-kun I hate him?" - Ryuuzaki asked politely.

"No, you didn't, Ryuuzaki-kun." - Light said, deliberating what would go first, the black or the grey shirt.

"Then just for you to know... I hate you, Light-kun. I can't even describe how badly..." - defeat almost inaudible but present in his voice.

"Thank you for sincerity, Ryuuzaki-kun. I feel calmer now, knowing that you have such strong feelings for me, even though it's our first proper rendezvous. I'm flattered..." - Light replied with a solemn tone.

"Just shut up Light-kun and give me that shirt before I'll strangle someone with it..." - L didn't know who would be first. Light or he himself...

"I am sorry, Ryuuzaki-kun. That won't happen again, I promise..." - Light's suppressed laughter wasn't really promising but L hadn't got much energy left for preposterous disputes.

"I don't believe Light-kun right now but I gave him my word and agreed for this, so let it be. Enough with the talking..." - he stretched out his hand.

"That I like..." - the younger man smiled victoriously. - "First the grey shirt with plane jeans. To not scare you." - Ryuuzaki took the clothes quickly and looked at Light without a word.

"What are you waiting for? I thought you were done with grumbling...?" - Ryuuzaki was still silent. - "Don't start this again. Even I don't have so much time..."

"I am waiting for Light-kun to leave and give me some actual privacy. I thought he knew that but now I feel obliged to enlighten him... Not every man is a perverted exhibitionist. Maybe Light-kun is but I am certainly not. So he will leave if he wants me to change." - Light pursed his lips and left the fitting room without a word. Visible progress...

It took Ryuuzaki some time to change the clothes, mainly because of his mental reluctance to wear something different than his plain white sweatshirts and loose jeans. Finally he was done. Jeans were too tight and the shirt too thin and stiff. He felt horrible. He didn't even look at himself in the mirror. He sighed heavily. He should probably show himself to Light now...

"I'm done. You can come and see. I definitely won't go outside and let everybody see me in this comical attire..." - So Light stepped in and lifted his eyebrow once more, looking at his partner for a minute. Ryuuzaki just wanted him to talk and then leave that place after buying those uncomfortable, silly clothes. Stupid hope...

"This shirt is in the wrong colour and jeans are wrinkled in the wrong places. It won't do..."

"Wrinkled in the wrong places? What's that supposed to mean? The wrinkles are the smallest problem if I were to choose... They're to tight. It couldn't possibly be healthy in any way... And you're talking about wrinkles..." - Ryuuzaki bridled up.

"If these are tight for you, there is a long way before us..." - Light smirked. - "Try this black shirt and black jeans as well. It could be interesting on you..." - L opened his eyes widely.

"Light-kun will leave now, again. I don't need more mocking comments right now. I feel bad already." "Fine, fine... Just put it on." - Light left and Ryuuzaki shot a glare after him.

"Interesting on me... Hate, I just hate him..."

This time he changed faster and after about three minutes he called Light to join him. Those jeans felt even tighter, as well as the shirt but it wasn't so stiff at least. It was even nice against his skin. Delicate and pleasantly cold...

"So? Is Light-kun satisfied now? Or the buttons are wrong somehow?" - By the look on Light's face saying this wasn't such a great idea. It was like cutting the ladder you're standing on... He was silent for a while, his eyes fixed on Ryuuzaki, scanning him.

"We're absolutely buying it. You look ama... You look like a normal human being for once. It's more than enough. Just one more thing..." - Light approached him slowly with a grey, leather belt in his hand, standing a little bit too close for Ryuuzaki's comfort. Especially when he was looking at him like that, like he was considering something deeply. Too close, definitely too close... He could feel Light's breath at one side of his face. He held back a shiver but Light sighed then, heavily, and gave the belt to Ryuuzaki. - "This will make it complete."

L quickly put the belt on to leave the fitting room and Light's close presence. It was disturbing somehow... Where was L? The intelligent one of course? Those clothes must have cut his supply of the oxygen. This unknown feeling of hesitancy, as well as the shiver were caused by that...

"Ok. Done. Can we go now?" - he asked loudly in order to change this atmosphere, so atypical for the two of them...

"Yes, we can. You don't have to change again. The clerk will remove the labels when we'll be paying. There is no need to waste more of our precious time..." - he smiled widely but Ryuuzaki noticed that it was only his mouth smiling. Eyes remain strangely distant...


	10. Under The Skin

**Author's Note:** I thought that it's time for an actual change, a sudden move and here it is...How do you like it?

* * *

If something was beyond acceptance then it was using words Ryuuzaki, attractive, desire in the same sentence. And specifically using them in the same sentence by Light... It shouldn't be even possible! But it undeniably was because Light's thoughts, not so long ago, were full of words related with attractiveness, sexiness... and Ryuuzaki. It was... It was...

Oh for God's sake! L was a man... A man! Light wasn't attracted to men... He had met many men in his life and never considered them as sexy or thought about them in any other way than as his co-workers, normal colleagues, someone to talk with... He liked women his entire life. They were worth desiring with their round figures, long hair and full, rosy lips... Men were just... men. So why was he so dumbfounded when he had entered the fitting room and saw Ryuuzaki in the clothes he had given him?

His intent was to change L into a decent looking man and he did it. But he managed something more than that. Ryuuzaki wasn't decent, he was... Well, not exactly handsome, he was too unusual for that. But he was looking almost... sexy. There was no other word to describe it. It was such a big change for him...

Firstly, the contrast between his alabaster, smooth skin, raven hair and onyx eyes deepened by black clothes. It made him look like some kind of a magic creature, a demon or a fallen angel. Secondly, Ryuuzaki wasn't as skinny as Light had previously thought. He was actually slender, with rather broad shoulders in addition, accented greatly by the long sleeved shirt. Moreover, his legs seemed longer and stronger built thanks to his tighter jeans. Finally, L's... backside was also stressed. Light strongly wanted to repress his thoughts about that concrete region of his partner's body... He shouldn't think about him and any part of his body at all... It was wrong, insane... He wasn't seventeen anymore. Hormones probably weren't to blame... It was Light himself.

Something must be done about it. Immediately! First he have to stop thinking about Ryuuzaki in this way, then he will erase from his memory that he ever did... Completely erase it! How hard could it be...? His answer came fast.

"Light-kun will pay for this. I'll personally make sure of it. It's his fault that I cannot sit or walk properly because every time I try to, this shirt is about to tear apart and I would rather not walk half naked. And my thinking abilities are lower than ever... He created a perfect occasion for someone to kill me. I'm starting to wonder if it wasn't his actual goal..." - L glanced at Light suspiciously.

"If you call this silly slouched position of yours proper then I'm very pleased I've put an end into it if only for a moment... And you won't make me believe that it really makes you less intelligent and more of a target. Now you're at least not so standing out from the crowd and so you're probably safer than you ever were when walking on the street. You're paranoid." - He was angry and it actually make him feel good. It was something to focus on. Something else than... exactly. "Light-kun doesn't understand my problem. My spine isn't accustomed to this position anymore... I don't like it. If I don't like something, I want it to stop... Isn't it logical? But now I cannot, unless I want to be called an untrusted liar, which I do not want. And so I am more and more irritated and while Light-kun is the only person around me at the moment I will make him suffer with me..." - He stated calmly, like it was normal to say such things... What an annoying man...

"What are you, five or something, Ryuuzaki-kun? You are constantly grumbling and whining. Can't you shut up even for a minute? I don't even hear my own thoughts..." - he had enough...

"Light-kun is not really friendly right now... Should he? After all, he wanted to be my friend..." - Light wasn't surprised that he had used that concrete argument.

"It's an emotional blackmail, Ryuuzaki-kun. Can't you just bare with your loss like a man? This once...?" - he didn't want to argue right now. There was no good reason to do it... Ryuuzaki was silent for a moment, like he was deeply considering Light's words.

"I will if Light-kun would be so nice and somehow made this silly shirt less tight... I just cannot stand it." - L asked, almost politely, so Light sighed and approached him.

"You're sometimes really behaving like a little kid." - he looked him straight in the eyes. It was a huge mistake... The tension came back, thoughts he wanted to forget about came back as well...

He was too close to him and could feel the warmth radiating from Ryuuzaki's body and see that there was a little, almost invisible mole on his left temple, hidden behind a strand of his black, unruly hair. Did Ryuuzaki felt this to? Or it was only Light losing his senses? He had to get a hold of himself right away or it could end quite badly... He breathed slowly and directed his gaze at Ryuuzaki's shirt, where the buttons started.

"Why do I always have to do things like this, why do I concede?" - he asked rhetorically. - "This is the last time, Ryuuzaki-kun..." - he stated and reached out to unbutton the shirt slightly and make L more comfortable as he himself didn't think about it. Why didn't he? It was too stupid of him, but... Oh, it didn't even matter. Suddenly Ryuuzaki grabbed his hand.

"What Light-kun thinks he's doing? I didn't give him permission to touch me, did I?" - he said, his tone sharp but a little uncertain in the same time.

"I was merely complying with your instructions. If you were as wise as you always talk you are, you would already unbutton some of your buttons. Something that easy didn't cross your mind? What a pity... Ryuuzaki-kun is too intelligent for his own good..." - Light smirked and L squinted his eyes.

"Continue and do as you said, Yagami-kun, I'm waiting... Is it that your experience ends in unbuttoning your own shirt and unbuttoning mine is to hard or unnerving for you...? Or maybe Yagami-kun is afraid of his own reactions?" - he almost murmured, voice cold.

This time Light really had enough. Who was he to talk to him like that? L? He didn't give a damn! Besides, who was afraid of intimacy, others closeness? Not Light... Why did L always mess up with him? Was it some kind of a hobby to him? He didn't want his shirt tight? No problem, he could handle it... Light smiled widely but creepily.

"I'm rather afraid of yours, L..." - he said and with one smooth move pulled the shirt with one hand, tearing it, buttons falling off, bouncing from the pavement one after another. L looked at Light, his eyes wide, hands limp at his sides. His black, now torn shirt, was revealing his white chest and a part of his stomach but he had yet to catch that.

"Why are you so surprised, Ryuuzaki-kun? Aren't you comfortable? I thought it was all about it... You should thank me. Now you can slouch as much as you want..." - Light was strangely satisfied but probably as surprised as L himself that he did that.

His eyes, first without his actual knowledge, lingered on Ryuuzaki's partially bare body. He realized it when it hit him that L's stomach wasn't even near fat, quite the opposite actually. Well, he hadn't got the proverbial six pack, but was somewhat toned, muscled. An unexpected discovery...

Light told himself off in his mind. That wasn't something he should be aware of, not so vividly... Moreover, there were other things to worry about, like probably awfully pissed off Ryuuzaki. It was more than scary that he didn't tell a thing by now...

Not till now Light noticed that people were standing still and looking at the two of them. Some disgusted, some horrified and others amused. Great, he had what he wanted... Audience for that little, improvised spectacle. He hoped that someone didn't call the police thinking that he was molesting L or something alike... Suddenly, he had an urge to grab Ryuuzaki by the hand and run fast from this place, into somewhere peaceful, without needless eyes around them, trying to think out a story matching to the situation, in their opinion of course.

And as this day seemed to be entirely atypical, unbelievably crazy and startlingly spontaneous, he simply did what he had thought of. He tightly grabbed L's hand and started to run forward, dragging Ryuuzaki along.

He didn't know what was their destination and didn't care at all. There was no plan, no forward thinking, just simple, instinctual action.

He wasn't Yagami Light right now. He wasn't this bright, twenty-one-year-old working as one of the youngest detectives in the entire world, by famous L side in addition. It didn't matter that he was highly intelligent, handsome or ideal, perfect like many had said before... He was just Light. A young man desiring some time for himself, away from boisterous, demanding, expecting and almost always watching his every step town and it's citizens. Waiting for some time with his, so called, friend, who had no choice but run with him.

It occurred to Light how incredibly tired he was, how he needed some rest, space, air... A place where nothing but him and his thoughts, feelings would matter and not others wishes, expectations.

Ryuuzaki unintentionally opened his eyes, when he was fighting for his own comfort, ease even if it seemed silly for Light in that moment. He angered him not only because L was arguing over a whim, something small but Light knew, deeply in his mind, that he wasn't capable of that, he didn't ever try. Yes, he was manipulating people in order to get what he wanted but it wasn't the same as telling them the truth straight in the face an demand it openly.

Well, he was able to be straightforward in Ryuuzaki's company but he didn't count it. There was more into it after all, they had mutual intelligence, minds, same job. Sometimes there was simply no reason to hide something because the other could easily find out, surmise what it was...

Maybe that was the reason why he was taking Ryuuzaki with him, without thinking first... Did it matter now?

They were running blindly, people passing by, watching their lunatic sprint. The streets where changing, one after another, into blurred streaks of mixed colours. Usual sounds of the town like cars, buses, people with mobile phones where suppressed by their pounding hearts, madly pumping blood through their veins. They were panting harder and harder with every minute, muscles in their legs more and more tired, sweat of mindless exertion visible on their faces, streaming down their necks and under the clothes. Strength was leaving them with every next move, step, breath...

Finally Light stopped himself, breathless and wet, with his legs bending under his weight. He sat down and hid his head in his hands, exhausted, for a moment his mind blank like a white sheet of paper. Then he looked up and saw L laying flat on the ground, next to him. His face was also sweated, but only lightly pink on the cheeks, like it was impossible for him to be red out of exhaustion. He had his eyes covered with his arm and his black shirt was widely open, showing his bare chest and stomach raising rapidly. This time Light could only think how tired he looked, how sensitive... how humane and because of that if only this once, close to him...


	11. Temporary Peace

**Author's Note:** I had focused on emotions between L and Light, however I didn't forget about the murderer completely. You may be certain that that part of the plot won't be abbandoned... As for now, L and Light once again on the main plan... Enjoy. I hope ;)

* * *

L felt that it was grass he was laying on, short but pleasantly soft and surprisingly cool under one of his hands, emitting fresh, unique aroma that only young grass could have. Million of thoughts were running through his head but he suppressed them, didn't let them to obtain a more concrete shape. They were blurred and dim and at this moment it wasn't something he wanted to change... To be a part of the surroundings, with nothing in particular to do, just... being there, existing quietly, composedly. He knew that when he'll start to think, everything would be back to normal, to his calculating, demanding and if considering current situation, more than angry, persona. He didn't want to react right now, he had no strength and actual will for it, but he also knew that it would be stronger than him if he would try to fully understand what had happened...

He had focused on other things, like calming down his erratically beating heart or uneven breath. He'd realized that he was madly sweated and his hair was sticking to his forehead. Then it was time to notice that completely unbuttoned or rather torn, black shirt he was wearing, now revealing his pale body. And it right away reminded him of Light because it was that man's work... L forced himself to control, as another fight couldn't end better than the previous one. He sat down, eyes closed, to avoid any dizziness.

After a moment he'd felt a warm hand on his right shoulder and instead of harshly shoving it away, acting impulsively, he slowly lifted his head to meet Light's intensive gaze on himself already. He sighed deeply, still locked with Light's eyes, and delicately pushed his hand away.

"I think I have enough touching for a while, Light-kun... If you may please restraint yourself from this unwanted action, I won't be obliged to react accordingly to it and pushing myself to another act of aggression towards you. Do you understand?" - his voice was short from being monotone.

Light's hand was hanging loosely in the air between the two of them for a moment, boy's eyes still, brimmed with numerous emotions; few of them L was able to name, uncertainty and regret, anger maybe... Then the said man let his hand fall down and head droop.

"I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. After all, it was almost like kidnapping you... and you even hadn't punched me..." - he laughed sarcastically to himself but then asked L quietly, averting his eyes, what Ryuuzaki counted as another atypical thing taking place today. - "Why hadn't you?"

Ryuuzaki asked himself this question. Why hadn't he? Why had he stopped? It wasn't his normal self... Well, this particular day went all dramatically wrong from the beginning. First shopping and fitting clothes, then this sudden marathon... It all left him nervous, uneasy and, hard to say, helpless to some point, without his normal deal of arrogance, quarrelsomeness, firmness and usual conviction about his infallibility. He was in no mood for real fighting. Probability of him losing it was higher than... sixty-five, seventy percent... Not worth trying. Besides, he actually didn't have to run with Light, he had enough strength for pulling out from his grip, so... Was it astonishment caused by Light's unforeseeable act that kept him form doing it or something else? Like his hidden desire to accompanying his partner in... whatever it was? Was he... willing? He wasn't capable of answering it right now... Maybe he won't be ever. Who could know that...?

"What could I say? Before the run I was still dazed and distracted after buying useless clothes and after it I had no breath left to punch you hard enough, so I just resigned... Pure logic, Light-kun." - A lie? Maybe a partial one... But telling the truth wouldn't change a thing. Because what saying: 'I don't know could' change...? Light raised his head slightly after that.

"I suppose it is... If no, I probably didn't deserve for anything else..." - another sigh came from Light.

"There is no need to discuss it over." - and he really had something much more interesting on his mind. - "I have a question to Light-kun as well... And I would like it to be the first one from the ten I am allowed to ask after our bet, so think twice before you deny answering it..." - Ryuuzaki advised politely and Light looked at him directly once again, eyes wide, with a spark of curiosity in them.

"Shoot it... I'll try to answer it as honestly as I can, okay?" - L nodded simply.

"Why did Light-kun grabbed me and decided to run so suddenly into a place he probably didn't know before? What made him do it?"

Light opened his mouth to answer but not a word came out. He shook his head, Ryuuzaki assumed that in order to gather thoughts, and breathed deeply. It showed that Ryuuzaki wasn't the only one with some mental problems today. Reassuring? Not really... If there was one person acting weirdly, unusually it could be seized somehow. When there were to such persons...

"I am not sure myself, Ryuuzaki-kun. I just suddenly felt the need to do it and I did... It was too much. I know it doesn't sound logically. I wanted to... leave everything for a while, stop thinking so intensively about things that aren't connected directly with me." - Ryuuzaki smiled in his mind. Light should watch his words more attentively...

"And the result of this way of thinking was taking me with you... Interesting, Light-kun. It means that in your opinion I am directly connected with you..."

"You..." - Light was speechless for a moment but swiftly put himself together. - "It's nothing new and abnormal... We're working together for more than half a year, spending most of time together, we became... well, friends. So it would be strange if I will not think of us as connected directly."

Total Light... Almost always the right answer, not compromising or revealing to much about him. Just like L. But as he was aware of that, he knew that there was something more in Light's behavior, actions. He just didn't want to acknowledge it himself or make Ryuuzaki conscious of it. Constant stealthy approaching... Sometimes Ryuuzaki was wondering if they were even capable of normal functioning. Maybe some day if he will try to live more normal than nowadays, it would turn out it's impossible... It make him sadder for a couple of seconds but then... He was L. Why was he considering normal life? There was no way of retiring, probably only by not being able to continue duties because of mental or physical disease. Or death...

"Friends. As I thought Light-kun will explain that matter..." - However L called to his mind a Latin proverb 'furor arma ministrat' what means 'anger gives weapon' and Light did exactly that... - "Although I would like to know why did Light-kun ruined my black shirt. My NEW black shirt, which he insisted on buying and paid for it as well..."

"As if you didn't know... Don't play dumb Ryuuzaki. You were like an irritating, little kid, arguing without a reason, just for fun... It was beyond my limit of patience. I acted as a child to. Maybe it wasn't intelligent but made me happy for a moment. If you play dirty I won't stop myself from doing it either." - he said honestly, shrugging his shoulders.

"I'll have that in mind, Light-kun. Yet it doesn't justify or explain Light-kun's eyes lingering on my humble persona... I think that he had watched me longer and more carefully than usually. Dis something in particular aroused his curiosity...?" - After that question Light momentarily tensed, subtle pink hue on his cheeks, easy to go unnoticed but not when Ryuuzaki was the one observing. Oh, sweet revenge, cold really tastes best...

"You should assign this to one of your great misinterpretations... Besides, I won't answer that question. Amount of silliness and improbability in it is to high to accept it." - Ryuuzaki thought that it was a game for two and he had an ace to help him win...

"So Light-kun wants to skip this question? And is he aware that it's the second one from my list? If he denies answering it, there is only one more time he could do it and nine questions left to be asked by me... Silly or not, is it that bad? I may find other and probably much worse. You know me, Light-kun..." - Ryuuzaki raised the corner of his mouth slightly, imitating a real smile.

"It's blackmail. One again, Ryuuzaki-kun..." - Light pursed his lips tightly, irritation and irresolution marking his manly beautiful features.

"Light-kun doesn't know definition of blackmail and he is working in the police department? Should I report it to someone...?" - L scratched his head like he was deliberating over it. - "More importantly, I wasn't blackmailing Light-kun. I was merely stating the obvious. Well, obvious for me. If for him? I cannot be so sure as he wanted to make such a hasty, not so well-thought-out decision. But he should be aware no and I am asking if he would like to change it..."

"I will never again make that same mistake and have a bet with you..." - Light's lips still pursed, jaw tight; symptoms of constraint or forcing oneself to something... - "If you so morbidly want to know, I will ease your unhealthy curiosity, Ryuuzaki-kun." - he bit his lip. - "It was just a single thought... For a moment I thought that... for a person, who eats such an extreme amount of sweets every day and whom I didn't see even once training, you have... well, a nice body." - Light almost choked on his last words, his cheeks redder than before, although his eyes fixed hardly on Ryuuzaki, like some kind of silent challenge, waiting for L's comment.

Actually, Ryuuzaki hadn't expected that and now he had no idea as for what to do with his answer... Light thinks or thought that L had a nice body. It sounded ridiculous in his own ears. No one had ever told anything about his body in this context. Well, Watari constantly says L is too thin and that he should change his diet, but that was all. Wasn't it strange? Light saying something like that about him? It wasn't that he craved for compliments, it was of no use and value in his life. However odd, it was nice to hear something so kind and personal once for a while.

Ryuuzaki fast stopped this train of thought. What was he thinking of! It was only about his appearance, nothing realistically worth. It was of no importance or at least it shouldn't have been... I didn't matter that Light was the one saying it to. It was just an observation, a simple statement, as always, kind and friendly, but nothing more... This day should end before something worse will have time to happen. It was already a mess... L was never a mess and now... He was even thinking differently from his usual self. But Light didn't have to know that...

"I will merely say thank you, Light-kun. I am not accustomed with such opinions, they're something new to me, though I appreciate it. However I am not sure if I should, as it comes from another man... Is this normal, Light-kun? I know that among women it is but if it's about men... I am not so sure. My Light enlighten me or it's something I shouldn't ask as well?" - Ryuuzaki asked innocently, but his eyes shinning with enthusiasm and joyful sarcasm. An ace? Definitely...


	12. Not So Perfect

**Author's Note:** Sorry for this unusally long delay but I had many many things to do as my studies and a theatrical project, which is still in process I may add... But I hope you'll enjoy this late chapter. A little bit emotionall but I enjoyed writing it :). Be free to tell me what do you think about it. Enjoy once again :)

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To much. It was simply to much for a one person to bare with in one day. Not to mention the level of stupidity it has currently reached. Why was it possible for a situation like this to take place? He should have showed his maturity, what L have certain problems with or there was none to begin with... But Light just... he couldn't... Oh, honestly... He would be talking to L! And when this man was in a state like he was right now... trying to be mature was... pointless.

Why was L acting like that, asking him such meaningless questions? To piss him off? Make fun of him? Find out when he would finally snap and make a bloody pulp out of him? It could be the end of it, because his anger was increasing steadily... All of it was so unbelievably childish!

"Normal? And what is 'normal'? You, from all people should know that normality is something relative. Or there is no such a thing at all... Actually, in that particular case I don't give a damn! I've said some questionable, atypical things and what, huh? If it's bothering you in any way, I don't care. It was only a stupid sentence or two, so at least once stop finding meaning in something when there is none to be found, okay? Or if you absolutely must, leave your absurd conclusions for yourself. It's, as you've said before, none of my concern... I don't have strength for it. I have many things to re-think myself, so... Let. Me. Be. Could you?" - he was almost hyperventilating at the end, eyes focused on L. The other man pursed his lips, not caring that he was showing actual emotions. Or it was just a part of an exaggerated act, which he was currently planning... Highly probable...

"Ah... So Light-kun is the one, who actually doesn't care about his own words... He should remember that for the upcoming future, when he will have an idea to call me untruthful, a liar and such... He is the one breaking our deal right now after all..."

Yes... There it was... Just as Light had thought. Sometimes even L was predictable. Not that it made it more bearable somehow...

"You know, Ryuuzaki-kun... I would have answered your question if it had been more than a stupid game of yours with one, main purpose. Get on my nerves and provoke me to say something spiteful or hit you, only to create a chance for you to attack me once more and make a fool out of me. Not this time... There is nothing you can say to irritate me to this point now. So stop losing your PRECIOUS time... Wouldn't it be bad?" - Light smiled genuinely and turned away, not waiting for an answer from L. He didn't have to hear it... He simply wanted to go home and get some peaceful sleep in his comfy, single bed. Where was no one to make his blood boil and his eye twitch... Only he and his own thoughts. It seemed like a paradise in this moment and he longed to find himself there. Instantly ... In order for this to happen, he started to leave the place he was right now, not even knowing where 'this place' exactly was... Well, no real harm done. His space orientation was quite good, he would find way back home in no time... He made about six steps when a demanding voice called after him. Ryuuzaki's of course...

"Light-kun won't go any further unless with me as his companion."

"And what made you think that, Ryuuzaki-kun?" - the boy asked, not even bothering to look at L.

"I am your superior, as simple as that... Does Light-kun need something more to be obedient?" - Light had to restraint himself from gritting his teeth. L shouldn't have told that. Especially if he wanted to stop him...

"Clearly yes..." - he said only and resumed his walk.

"I'm warning Light-kun that I will take it as insubordination and it cannot be left without consequences. I hope he is aware of that and will stop immediately." - Light didn't. L's voice was quieter with his every step, what gave him strange satisfaction. He was a free person. This was his free time and L wasn't his master. Only boss... So what if he had threatened him? Light didn't care...

"Yagami-kun... Yagami-kun, don't you dare make another step, do you hear me?" - Oh, Light did... But emotionally? He was as good as deaf...

"Light-kun" - he won't react, he told himself... - "Light!" - at that he stopped at once, even if without actual will... Firstly, L had shouted. It was definitely out of his character to talk loudly and shout... But it didn't exactly stop him. No... What did was L using his name without honorific... In that moment he actually cursed himself for being Japanese. Then it wouldn't be something strange or startling at all. But he was Japanese and so L using no honorific all of a sudden made him stop. And when he thought about it more, it made him somehow vulnerable, insecure. Because he wasn't the one initiating it... Stupid tradition and cultural mentality...! He should have been above it, with his knowledge and intelligence! Mad... He was going mad and it was the only explanation to this... Light sighed heavily and turned over his shoulder, looking at L's, once again hunched over, persona.

"What do you want, Ryuuzaki-kun? Have I no right left or what? I'm not chained to you, am I?"

"No, you're not but that's something that I should maybe consider in the future... Light-kun is a hard person to come to an understanding with and he leaves before one could even talk to him properly... Maybe being chained isn't a bad conception." - he bit his thumb, as if he would be considering it for real in that crazy head of his... Creepy was the only matching word here.

"As if you could arrange that..." - Light smirked. - "Stop with silly ideas and made me stay here somehow or I WILL leave. Besides, what's with 'Light-kun' again? Did I misheard you earlier, when you had called me Light? Just Light... Or was it planned, L genius...?" - L didn't speak for a moment, gaze somewhere above Light's head. Then he looked at him, eyes blank but one of his fists tight, what Light didn't exactly catch.

"And what did Light-kun think? More than seventy-five percent chance that it would turn his attention to me..."- the boy smiled with the corner of his mouth, rather sadly.

"Is that so? I understand, L-kun. We will meet in the headquarters, at work time. Good day, or night I should say..."

"Light-kun, we're in a secluded, not so peaceful area, it's getting dark and you're way to... yourself to be walking alone. You should bare with me a little longer for your own good."

"I'm old enough to take care of myself. I'm a detective, after some training also. Why should I be scared to walk alone? Maybe you're the one who is afraid, huh? Not so often outside, right? You're smaller than me, seem weaker because of your fragile figure and not to mention how you look with that torn shirt and tighter than usual jeans... Someone could definitely lay an eye on you and... not only that. A hand... or two perhaps...? You don't even have a clue how someone could react seeing you now." - he smiled widely. Even with good intentions that smile couldn't be taken as a nice one..

"What does Light-kun mean by that? Dose he imply that I look like a male prostitute? If yes, this is only his fault. Light-kun gave me those clothes and ripped my shirt apart. He should take responsibility for that." - L bit his thumb more aggressively this time.

"A prostitute? No... I just thought that you look simply... How should I call it...? Asking for someone to rape you on the spot. Prostitutes are getting payed normally... Rape doesn't include such things and none of formalities and humane acts. It leaves no place even for the smallest amount of pride, dignity and rouse emotions only like hate-read, fear, abhorrence... You probably wouldn't live through it or rather after it. So is that's why you don't want to be left alone? You could always ask me to stay with you... Will you?" - Light raised his eyebrow questioningly, locking eyes with Ryuuzaki.

"Where had Light-kun learned so much about rape? It's rather impossible for him to be a victim of it, I would have known that... And my answer is no. Light-kun is wrong in his assumptions. I am not afraid or as defenseless to plead for his help. I know thoroughly three martial arts and could win over most of unsuspecting assailants, immobilize them and bring them to justice. I've done that before in my career. But as far as I know, Light-kun have no such experience. Up to now he had only searched information, questioned people and solved cases without confronting criminals on their private territory. Well, not on his own... That's why I cannot comprehend why he is so certain that he could win easily if someone would attack him. Why he is so determined to be left alone? He said before that he cares about his life and so his attitude is somewhat confusing..."

In that moment Light turned to fully face Ryuuzaki. He was a mix of incredulity, anger, tiredness and maybe... sadness. He took few steps to stand close to him and look him straight in the eyes, those black, unreadable depths. Light was sometimes wondering if L's heart was so black as well...

"You know, Ryuuzaki-kun... When half a year ago I've met Watari and was told that if that was my desire I could work with great L, so admired by me even though I've never seen him before, I'd accepted his proposition without given it another thought. It seemed that an entire new world was opening before me, that I would finally put into effect all those years of my hard work in school, university and what came after that... That I would finally work with someone as devoted as I was, with great ideals, seeking justice in order to make our planet a safer place to live... And then I've met... you... in person.

There are no suitable words to describe my utter shock back then... You were standing there, slouched posture, crumpled clothes, barefoot and a giant red lollipop in your mouth. You were so thin, with almost paper white skin and dark circles under your eyes... And you looked so young...! I couldn't make myself believe that this... odd, childlike person could be L. My first thought was that my colleagues made me a joke because they knew how much I wanted to meet you, talk and work with you, or that it was real L's plan to see if I was someone whom he could trust.

After a while it became obvious that it was reality. And I wasn't so sure if I still wanted to cooperate with you. Because you weren't someone I've imagined you would be, you should be... You were almost silly, expecting answers but not giving any yourself. Demanding that I should open up to you but saying nothing about your past, feelings. You felt like someone detached from everyone, from the world. Emotionless and cold. I was so close to leaving your place, thinking cynically that I overestimated you, that you had good results in your work because of others help...

But then you've asked me about my vision of justice, how law should function, what were my ideals, goals and... we started a long discussion. We hadn't agree in everything, thought you opened up yourself in that moment somehow as well. Not entirely, like most people would do but I could see hidden passion in you, real intelligence, strength, reliability... And I've decided that it didn't matter how peculiar or irritating you are, you're the right person to work with and try to make world a better place, no matter how cliché it sounds.

God knows, memory of that is probably the only thing that keeps me by your side... Because you're more infuriating with almost every day. And I keep asking myself if my sanity is worth that stupid decision of mine... and probably it is because I just can't simply leave, even now... Tell me L, how stupid I must be? How stupid I must be to endure all of your silly whims, groundless accusations of countless things, cold words and above all... so little trust that you can't really be truthful with me about yourself? How stupid I am? Because I keep fighting with you, trying to gain it, to make you more comfortable around me even if with weird, uncommon methods, so you could be honest with me, talk with me. So that our friendship could be real, not only a surrogate, substitute... We made a step forward but after that, two or more backwards... So how stupid I am, how naive...?"

Light asked this last question and it was brimmed over with sorrow, as well as his faint smile. He opened himself up in front of this man, he had said one of his greatest heartaches because he just couldn't hold it anymore. It pained him to much, so he let it go. He didn't thought what it could change or how, he had no strength left. He was just looking at L, motionless, breathing slowly, lips slightly parted like his question was still there, adjourned, waiting for an answer. But the answer he got wasn't the one he was expecting...

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**Author's Note: **Yes, I know... I had to do that... Sorry ;)


	13. What's Going On?

**Author's Note**: Hi! Here's the next chapter. As always, hope you'll like it! And something some of you were probably waiting for. I'm just beginning though... There is much more to go in this story, but not only L's and Light's relations... ;)

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He hadn't got a clue what was happening for a moment. He was just standing still, paralyzed, eyes wide open. Like someone had found a magical 'switch off' button on him and pushed it, causing a total black out, shutting down the entire system called 'Yagami Light', making him unable to react. It was something new to him. He was Yagami Light after all and being this young bright man meant being ready to handle any situation if needed... And IT WAS needed right now.

It was, because he was suddenly confronted with another human being's close presence, warmness and... touch. It was somehow familiar, these feeling, like... déjà vu. Trembling arms tightly wrapped around his back, soft hair lightly tickling his cheek, hot breath ghosting over his exposed neck. But not the familiarity of that kind of touch itself stopped all of his actions. It was the person touching him, it was... Ryuuzaki, L... Once again reacting spontaneously at Light's honest words. He evaded Light's personal space without actual thinking or it at least looked like that from Light's perspective... But he wasn't capable of making other assumptions than that only simple one. Because Ryuuzaki hugged him tighter, cold lips almost touching his neck, obviously jittery. Not thinking exactly as well, Light slowly let his hands move and make their way to L's back, imitating his peculiar embrace. He took a deep breath after a minute and started to chuckle quietly, softly.

"How is it that I have to say something extreme in order to see that side of you, Ryuuzaki-kun?"

"What side, Light-kun" - the older man mumbled into Light's neck.

"This more open one, actually initiating something more intimate than words. I am surprised, thought... in a good way. I like this man standing in front of me right now. He is close to me, like a real friend should be..." - hands around his back tightened once more, cold nose touching him right below the ear. - "Don't be afraid to be emotional if you're with me, Ryuuzaki-kun. I appreciate it... I feel... good when you're doing it. Like yo- ..." - he suddenly stopped, feeling Ryuuzaki's trembling form move and then it was L's face in front of his, closer than ever.

Ryuuzaki's persona was emanating with uncertainty but his eyes were hiding much more. Fear, expectation, anxiety...

"Light-kun... I don't know... I..." - this inarticulate words were coming from L's mouth and the boy couldn't believe it. It wasn't like his co-worker at all... He usually wasn't like a lost child, wandering in the thick fog and now...

"Ryuuzaki-kun...? What is it? What do y- ..." - but he was interrupted. Interrupted by Ryuuzaki's forehead resting suddenly against his own. His eyelids were tightly shut like he was afraid to look Light straight in the eyes, arms limp. You could see that he was struggling to stay calm, composed, unemotional but there was too much tension in his body and face, so the fruit of his endeavour was quite miserable... He seemed so much more vulnerable than usual, insecure and... cute. Yes, cute. Light felt the sudden urge to protect him and in the same time, become closer to him. Closer than he already was... And maybe there were many ways to do it, though...

He tilted his head, moved forward slightly and there it was... His lips were touching lightly, subtly L's. The other man didn't move, not even an inch... and so Light moved even closer to him, delicately sliding lips along Ryuuzaki's once again, adding a little bit more pressure, waiting unconsciously for his reaction.

His body tensed momentarily, Light could feel him trembling more and more with every second but then he responded to the kiss. Uncertainly, hesitantly, inexperienctly he moved his mouth with Light's, and it was cold but surprisingly soft... It was feather-light, shy, timid but sweet in the same time. So sweet that Light didn't want to open his eyes and end it. It was so surreal but warming bit by bit from the inside, leaving you peaceful, serene and joyful... However it was soon over and L, not even looking at Light, rested his head on the boys shoulder, making it impossible to see his facial expression, to see what was he feeling right now, what was running through his mind... And Light didn't feel the need to try to find out. They were just standing there, closely together, nothing to be said. Not right now... Right now it was time to feel each other through the silence, let her be and embrace them, quieten their fluttering hearts and running minds. Even if just for now...

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Their way back to the headquarters was filled with silence as well. They only quietly decided that Light will go with Ryuuzaki and from there he will be driven home by Watari. A compromise indeed; Light probably too tired to fight about that particular thing anymore.

This silence between them? It wasn't exactly as awkward as one would think... They really were too worn out. Out of energy, which finally left their bodies after great physical and psychical exertion. There was no room for over-thinking things now and it wasn't so bad after all... They badly needed some rest.

The streets they were slowly passing were mostly empty, only few, mainly suspicious looking men and women were occupying the sidewalks, probably as every other evening, waiting for someone to make a deal with... Both Ryuuzaki and Light simply ignored them, not wishing for any trouble. Unfortunately, it turned out that simply wishing wasn't enough...

Suddenly a man blocked their way, coming out of nowhere. He wasn't particularly tall but his musculature was definitely above average... Not to mention that all about his look was almost shouting 'this is my terrain and you two just crossed the line. Now I'll decide what to do about it!'. He didn't even need a baseball bat or a knife to look dangerous and creepy. His scarred face and dark, madly shining eyes were enough to make others shiver... But not Light or Ryuuzaki. To much pride. Besides, both of them started calculating the situation and options they could use so there wasn't time for things like common fear...

"Ahhh... What do I seeeee... Two lovely birds on my terrain. Not a frequent incident... I should guess that you're... men of your look in such a place... two innocent, little whores? Or maybe a whore..." - he gauged L with wide, lustful smirk - "and her or rather his pimp. Or a client. Yeah... More likely! You look to tidy to be a pimp..."

L didn't move or blink but only spoke with his monotone voice.

"You're mistaken. We have no business here. With each other or with you. Let us leave and there won't be a problem..." - L could see that Light involuntary flinched when the other guy laughed harshly.

"Oh, there's no need to be ashamed of being a male prostitute... I actually enjoy their company and so you see... shut up and I'll talk nicely with your client... so he would leave the two of us alone for a moment. And he will, won't he?" - saying this he turned his gaze to Light, a small, sliver knife appearing in his right hand.

L felt his level of irritation growing with every passing second. He simply hated situations of this kind, probably because he wasn't fond of violence and using his actual strength. He considered himself as a reasonable person, after all he was L... Sensible arguments, not fists were his real power. Unfortunately not everyone had the same convictions, most of times being simply not educated, without needed intelligence or examples in their everyday life and so they used aggressiveness and violence as their shield. It was seemingly one of those times and he would have to bare with it...

But all of the sudden the knife fell to the pavement with a loud thump and the man previously holding it landed on it to, losing his consciousness. It took Ryuuzaki about three seconds to comprehend what had happened right before him.

Firstly, it was neither him nor Light who had caused it. Secondly, it was more than ninety five percent that it was thanks to the tall, black haired man in an expensive suit and with a leather briefcase in his left hand standing next to their, probably would-be, attacker. L thought that it was rather unexpected move from a business-looking person like this... His suit seemed to be tailor-made and... Actually, all parts of this man's attire and looks told 'wealthy, rich and influential', though in a discreet and casual way. No unnecessary showing off. He was probably from a well-known company, working for the government or something of this sort. Well-mannered, educated, outgoing but knowing his place in the same time or just good at making others think that... He knew someone like that already, didn't he? All that just from quick, silent observation. And there was a small chance of him being mistaken... As always...

But then 'the saver' bowed politely and smiled at them. And let L say that it was one hell of a smile... Maybe even more charming than Light's and that was something very hard to beat, objectively... A glimpse of bright-withe teeth could be seen and a small dimple just right above right corner of man's mouth, what added his rather manly, sharp features some tenderness, softness. His dark brown eyes were showing confidence and one could see a hint of satisfaction in them, what only made him more appealing. Of course L was describing this man like others would see him. For him his looks didn't matter... He wanted to leave, taking Light with him. Enough was enough for one day... And that moment the said saver choose to speak.

"I hope I was helpful and that my intervention wasn't unwanted... I just couldn't pass someone by when in seriously looking trouble. Ah! Gomen...I should first introduce myself... Motou Ayumu, hajimemashite." - he bowed slightly once again, smile never leaving his face.

L didn't say a word, antisocial as always, wondering if he was in the mood to be polite and show some gratitude. But Light being Light, finally snapped out from his musings or whatever it was and smiled as nicely as probably humanly possible...

"Hajimemashite. I'm Yagami Light and this man over here is..." - Light made a small pause, probably wondering which one of L's identities he should use...

"Ryuuga Hideki" - L said flatly, nodding his head lightly, as if he wasn't specially moved by recent events. Light sighed quietly at that and smiled at the man in front of them again, known now as Ayumu.

"Domo arigato for your help, Ayumu-sama. May I call you that?" - L thought that if Light's smile would become wider even a half centimeter it would tear his mouth apart... Ridiculous... This whole Ayumu was a ridiculous man as well. Why did he even bother to talk with them? Hadn't he got a job to do or a home to come back to with a lovely wife waiting for him with late dinner? Besides, how could people talk with random strangers when there was no real reason to? He'd never understood others need to chit-chat... Like he needed extra attention. Well, maybe Light did, because he didn't look desperate to leave this damn place at last, what was L's priority at the moment...

"Of course. I'm glad I could help the two of you. It's a rather dangerous place to be at that hour and you should avoid it if you can... I'm here only when my work requires it. I can't imagine people like you would have a reason to be here as well..." - L was certain that Ayumu meant only Light but was too polite to say it at loud, as he wasn't eve looking at L. But could he blame the man? His presence wasn't the greatest right now, compared even to his normal self. He really looked... one would probably say... slutty, which wasn't exactly in L's everyday vocabulary.

"You're quite right Ayumu-sama, actually I must confess that we're somewhat, well... lost. We were trying to get to our work place when this man... stopped us..." - Light motioned towards the man who was now lying at the pavement, still unconscious.

"I understand. Well... we should probably give him into hands of justice and call the police. I know it's quite bothersome, me being a lawyer know something about it, but... It's the right thing to do." - he said with slight determination in his voice.

"You're a lawyer? What a coincidence..." - L saw that Light smiled at that brightly... Leaving this place in less than half an hour was now near zero percent chance... Leaving it in one hour would be a miracle... That was all about his earlier priority. The only thing L could thought was only simple and ordinary 'shit!'. And he didn't care that he was a genius...


	14. Where Is My Mind?

**Author's Note:** Hello :) Sorry for the delay but I've started my studies and had many things occupying my head. However here is the new chapter and I may say that the next one is already in process of writing so it shouldn't take me so long to end it. I may also add that there would be something more about the 'murdere's part' and not only about L and Light. After all, it's also very important in this story line, even if I'm focusing hard on both parties, L's and Light's, emotions... Hope you'll like the present chapter. Enjoy...

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Three hours... It took them three hours to finally get back to the headquarters, L thought when they were finally in the car driven by Watari, who came to pick them up from the police station. THREE hours! Oh, he knew it would end like this. His entire day was cursed from the beginning! Well, not that L believed in such thing like curses, but... as a figure of speech it was summing everything up rather nicely...

They'd waited for the police and then of course had to depose at the nearest police-station as witnesses. Well, they weren't exactly victims, nothing really happened to them after all, but it didn't help to speed up the whole process. Ryuuzaki had actually even thought about revealing his identity as L what hardly ever happened to him... He didn't do that of course but thinking about it was as shocking as doing it for real... In addition Light acted like he was under this person's, Ayumu, spell. He was more polite than any situation required and his small talk with this man sounded sweeter than any of Ryuuzaki's frosted cakes... The ideal boy met another ideal? It seemed highly possible... Maybe L was Light's intellectual equal but that was probably all... Someone unfamiliar, if suddenly asked, would have a great problem to find some similarities between the two of them. But between Light and Ayumu...? Yes, there was nothing left to say...

L knew that it actually angered him more then some police officers questioning them and wasting their time but wasn't exactly ready to admit to it openly. His head was a mess, and because of it not being something natural for him, he hadn't got the slightest idea how to cope with it... Besides, he had no wish to do it right now... He wanted some strawberry cake, his beloved lemon-flavored gummy bears and a cup of Earl Gray, with appropriate amount of sugar in it of course... He wanted to eat in peace. Alone... Yes, he wanted to be alone! No Light and his preposterous reasoning... No irritation caused by it. And definitely no uneasiness, which L tend to feel lately in the boy's company. Why exactly? He was in no mood to deliberate... Something in his head whispered softly, teasingly that it wasn't about the mood, that he was simply scared to find out but he quickly tried to put it aside; in that he had vast experience. This time it wasn't helpful...

Light was sitting right beside him and his close presence was a constant reminder of today's trend of events. Especially one concrete occurrence... Sounding so surreal in his world that he was calling into question his own sanity and so simple, common for more than a half of entire society it finally shocked him somehow that he hadn't experienced it before... It was quite obvious for him why but it didn't change the fact that he wasn't even thinking about it before it had actually happened. Well, he'd learned about reproduction and human's sexuality when he was younger, at school but it was just another subject, some information to acquire. He remembered it, however there was no need to use it. Just like with ancient history, physical principals or chemical compounds. He used them while working, it was helpful in solving his cases. Nothing more and nothing less... There were no feelings of want, emotional or more physical deficiency. Not when he had no time to even stop and properly think about himself and his actual needs. Not when he didn't even want to have them. Because others learned him to be like that. Because life, his experience taught him to be like that... Because it let him do his job, live without all-embracing fear, absence of something important but beyond his reach, making him someone weak, frail. Unit so easy to captivate with void promises, enfeeble and then devastate.

But now he had been confronted with a part of himself he wasn't aware of. He was also confronted with Light and his... feelings? Did Light feel something for him? For Ryuuzaki, L? How could it be possible? It wouldn't make any sense if he did, so... And what's more important, what about L's own reaction to possibility like that? Light had... kissed him. And he... Well... he didn't stop him. He even... tried to... cooperate after the initial shock. Cooperate... Probably not even the right word to describe it but he wasn't sure what would be.

Great... He was supposed to relax and stop deliberate over... things and he was doing exactly that. It was only a stupid, unimportant kiss, right? Simple touch of lips. His and Light's lips... Light's delicate, warm lips on his cold ones. The boy's embrace, his hot breath on his skin. Intimacy... It was intimate... L didn't know what to do with it and still he couldn't stop thinking... He won't do anything probably. There was a case to solve right now! And once again something quietly, teasingly whispered in his mind that there will always be a case... That there was no freedom for him unless he would try to change it... That it was his choice, his decision, his will... That he was the main obstacle on his own road...

His train of thought was interrupted by the stopping car. It turned out they were already at the headquarters and he didn't even notice that... Perceptive skills down by at least twenty percent... Not good... He had to do something about himself! Well, after leaving the car... But... first things first...

"Thank you, Watari. You don't have to wait for me to enter the building, just take Light-kun home now." - he said, opening the door in an attempt to leave the car. However Light was faster. He grabbed him by the hand.

"I'm sorry Ryuuzaki-kun but it's not necessary. I don't want to go home. I want to stay at the headquarters... with you and talk. It's late but I know you're an insomniac so it shouldn't bother you, right?"

L couldn't believe Light was doing this... That he didn't want to believe, would be probably more accurate... Once again he asked himself 'why?'. This polite, innocently looking boy had to take great pleasure in torturing him. There was no other explanation. He wanted to make him suffer from an emotional breakdown. Because it should be quite obvious for Light right now that such a great emotional intensity would leave him in shreds ultimately... Though, L couldn't voice a revelation of that caliber aloud and he had no strength left to argue for once, so what left him was to leave Light and let him have it his way... Just for now...

He sighed deeply, frowning his face visibly, but stayed silent. He just got out of the car and went inside of the building with a pulsing pain starting to form in his skull. A migraine? He wouldn't be surprised. Just like a cherry on the top of a great cake, the last, perfect touch to it, but this time in a negative version.

As soon as Ryuuzaki entered the building, he immediately went to the kitchen to fetch some cake, strawberry preferably. And a soda. In his state of mind he needed something more than just a simple cup of tea... Light followed him like a shadow, his gaze almost burning a hole in the back of his head, while he was slicing himself a generous piece of cake, taking his time of course...

"I wanted to talk with you Ryuuzaki-kun." - he didn't respond. - "L-kun... I said, I wanted to ta-" - this time the other man interrupted Light.

"I already know that. To Light-kun's information, I don't have any hearing problems. If I don't respond him, he should be aware that I simply choose to ignore him... That should keep him from saying unimportant things more than once... " - after that L left the kitchen and settled himself on one of the couches in the living room, which wasn't exactly a leaving room but their usual working place.

"Unimportant? How nice of you, Ryuuzaki-kun... as usual. I don't care if you don't want to hear me actually, as long as you'll stay in the room and let me talk." - L only looked at Light from over his plate, cake halfway eaten, but didn't say a word. - "Great... I take it as a consent." - he sighed deeply, probably gathering all of his thoughts together once again and his determination as well, Ryuuzaki guessed. - "So... What I would like to talk about... or rather what I would like to say, watching your attitude at least... is that... many things have happened lately, especially today, and I know you don't like being emotional but I hope you won't... you won't back off now..." - L's eyes drifted suddenly from his cake to Light.

"Back off from what, Light-kun? I'm not sure if I caught your line of thinking this time..." - he stated monotonously. The boy bit down his lower lip, to calm himself perhaps, L thought.

"Oh, how you love playing naive and unaware of some things, don't you? It doesn't matter though... Not at this very moment. I won't fall for your childlike tricks this time. I can restrain my anger, as well as my irritation, so your attempts will be unproductive, whatever you want to achieve, most probably me changing the subject or leaving you alone..."

"If you say so, Light-kun. But trying won't harm me and I can always have my hope..." - he said with a hint of sarcasm audible in his voice, quite a rare occurrence, as he was trying to control his voice whenever he spoke.

"If _you_ say so, Ryuuzaki-kun..." - Light made a grimace - "Besides, it's not my point..." - he said angrily.

"Oh, I'm not stopping Light-kun from making his point. He seems to stop himself from it better than me..." - he lifted the corner of his mouth almost unnoticeably for someone to catch it. Light did.

"Fine. So shut up and listen then!" - Light raised his voice and sighed. He seemed to be doing that more often lately, in L's opinion of course. - "I just wanted to say that even if today we were quarreling more than usually, even if we were shouting and running somewhat in circles, even if we're now rumpled and wearied, I had a good day at the end. Because I've spent it with you..." - he stopped for a moment searching for L's eyes, and probably his reaction, but the man's face was like a blank page. Light sighed. Again. - "I... We made progress in our... friendship. And even if we somehow... blurred the line with... with that kiss..." - he said after a moment of hesitation. - "I hope you won't back off because of it... and become aloof and completely distant... as before. Because this kiss... It doesn't have to change a thing between us." - he sated firmly, looking more like he was trying to assure himself more than L.

L just looked at Light wordlessly, motionless, eyes wider than usual if possible. Like it have struck him only in this very moment that they had actually kissed and what more, that it wasn't something normal or usual. But it wasn't the case...

Hearing Light saying that this kiss didn't have to change anything what was between them to this point made him think and realise that there was a possibility, even if the tiniest, of actually changing it. But changing into what? Something... more? And what would be... more? They were trying to be friends, right? To know each other better, to feel more secure around each other, to earn... trust. If there was something more than that and this one unguarded kiss, was he willing to find out what it could really be? Was it possible for him to experience it? And what's more important, was he even ready to admit to his potential willingness? In current situation, him being L and being somewhat frightened, he could only do one thing. Deny everything...

"There is no_ thing_ between us to begin with, Light-kun, so logically there are no changes possible." - L said, trying to again put on his untouched expression, pulled down by Light's earlier words, and failing miserably. However Light missed or simply ignored L's visible turmoil and focused on his own anger.

"How.. HOW CAN YOU? How can you say that there is nothing between us, Ryuuzaki-kun? Do you know the implication of the word 'nothing'? You're saying to me that every minute of our time spent together held no meaning to you? And what with our friendship, Ryuuzaki-kun, huh? You confirmed its existence with your own words, and actions too if one was to think about it more... And now what? You're negating it... just like that? Because of one... accident? Then there are more things wrong with you than I had actually thought..." - hearing this accusations was too much for L. He stood up, clenching his fists.

"That's the problem Yagami-kun! How can you not see something so obvious? Even I can! It wasn't an accident! Accidents are sudden, unforeseeable and mostly don't happen with one's actual consent... If that was the case, I would merely label it as such and leave it behind. But it wasn't! It wasn't and that's just unacceptable! I'm reminding you of my identity and my role... I have many responsibilities and more things to deal with than any normal human being. I'm L. L. And I cannot simply... I cannot..." - he paused, not able to verbalise the thought that enter his mind.

"What L? You cannot exactly what...?" - Light asked coldly, for once not bothering to put anything after the simple 'L'.

"Succumb to my desires, Light-kun. Is that what you wanted to hear? Is it? Because it's true. If they consider another human... If they about something more than cooperation in solving cases... If they begin to be something more... than that, it would be my end as L. Because that's what they taught me. Because justice should be blind. And emotions would blur her clear, objective vision. Because there would be a soft spot someone could use against me. Because there would be something not worth risking my life anymore. And that would definitely mean the end of L. You have your answer, Yagami-kun. Happy now...?" - he hissed shakily, biting on his thumb furiously.

"I shouldn't have..." - Light tried to focus his mind but L was to furious to let him do it.

"What? Start this conversation? Ask me that stupid question? Shouldn't have try befriending me? Kiss me...?" - he asked coldly, his voice hard, really unpleasant for the very first time. - "Probably... But the past have one certain quality. You cannot recall it, Yagami-kun."

"Ryuuzaki-kun...It's not... I want to..." - Light tried once again.

"I do not care right now what Yagami-kun wants. I don't have time for his obvious stuttering and his mind block. I'm going to rest and Yagami-kun won't be accompanying me, is that clear? I've had enough of his presence as for today. Probably for more than today actually. He will find his way out of the building. Watari will drive him back home as it's to late to be going on foot. Good night, Yagami-kun." - L stated monotonously and without another word or a glance left the room and Light to themselves.


	15. On Or Off?

**Author's Note:** Once again sorry for the delay. Studies... Emotional development of L and Light I would say still in process. I'm planning on reveal much more about the murderer's case but to make it more finished up I want to take my time. Sorry if it disappoints you.

* * *

Light felt like a living corpse. He hadn't slept almost, maybe an hour or so. His head was throbbing, every time when he blinked, he felt like there was sand scraping his eyes and his throat was sore. He was afraid to look at himself in the mirror when he entered the bathroom to take his, so badly needed, shower.

But it was actually his brain that was his biggest enemy right now, and being more precise, the part responsible for memory and thinking as such. Because remembering last day's and last night's events, and trying to understand and evaluate them, was more than painful. And mental pain was much worse than any physical pain he had had an occasion to experience.

He slapped himself mentally. He had no time, and health, to go through it over and over again... He had work to do this time and his mind shouldn't be occupied with unprofessional thoughts. It would slow him down and the murderer they were trying to catch won't go easy on them just like that...

Ah, exactly! The serial killer! It was something he couldn't believe himself, but he nearly forgot about him because of all this recent mess with Ryuuzaki he got himself into... And he considered himself a detective, a good one to that... Well, even if, there was no point in crying over spilled milk. He should just concentrate and do his best today and tomorrow and so on... And finally they will catch the perpetrator, there was no other option in Light's opinion. There shouldn't be any other option... That's how it will end and Light would make sure of it.

Taking a shower, as well as drinking his favourite black coffee, woke him up relatively and made him feel more like a human. Fresh change of presentable clothes, light brow suit followed by precisely ironed, white shirt and polished shoes helped him gain more confidence, which he somehow lacked. Once again thanks to yesterday's events...?

He entered the headquarters, head high, eyes hard, ready to confront resentful, bitching Ryuuzaki, just to be greeted by an empty room. Nobody was there, as well as in the kitchen, bathrooms and other commonly used by them rooms. Where the hell was everybody? Light haven't got a clue... He tried calling Ryuuzaki even but he hadn't answered his phone. Well, nothing surprising really...

Being Light, he couldn't sit and do nothing, so he had started the computer and opened police and their own reports trying to find something that could have been missed. After an hour of reading and researching he'd come up with nothing new... He'd started considering whether hitting his head into the wall was such a bad idea when the door opened and Ryuuzaki entered the room with Mogi, Aizawa and Matsuda right behind him. Anger boiled in him right away...

All three of the police officers were undoubtedly with L, doing something connected with their investigation. And Light was sitting in the headquarters, doing some stupid paper work! He hadn't been informed about anything at all! What was that about? Was this L's way of tormenting Light, some sick kind of revenge? L was the one himself separating work form personal life, or rather simply not having much of a personal life even because of his work. And now... Oh, it was too much, he wasn't going to silently endure it, no way! If L thought he could treat him like that he was certainly wrong...

Not eve bothering to greet the others, he moved to stood in Ryuuzaki's way and firmly grasped the front of his usual white sweatshirt, looking him straight in the eyes, pouring all of his anger into them.

"What the hell is the meaning of this, L?" - it seemed that the '-kun' was in the way of Light and his negative emotions once again.

Something flickered in the other detective's eyes but was fast replaced by his cold, unemotional look.

"I do not know what is Light-kun referring to."

"Do not play dumb with me again, L. I'm sick of it. Why was I not informed about this issue while others were? I'm an important part of this investigation so it shouldn't have taken place. I'm also quite certain as to why I was excluded from today's little circle of investigational admiration. Are you really that childish L? To sabotage my work, and the whole investigation, because of your personal problems, a whim, a sudden, may I add ridiculous, animosity towards my persona? It's one of the most preposterous things you have ever done and which I have an occasion to experience! Do you even know what you're doing exactly? Or you're so blind with your unfounded hatred?" - this time he shook Ryuuzaki, to emphasize his own words and anger.

Mogi, Aizawa and even usually loud and meddlesome Matsuda stayed silent, watching the scene playing right in front of them with utter disbelief and slight horror. Meanwhile L's only reaction was delicate tightening of lips. For now...

"Light-kun is highly disturbing my personal space. I ask him to move his hands from my persona. Otherwise I will be forced to help him and it would not be a delicate assistance."

"I will not move. Answer my question first. It's not a request. I simply demand it." - Light stated harshly.

"I will say it one more time, I do not care about Yagami-kun's demands. He will move his hands from his own will and I would not harm him intentionally."

"Answer my question, L!" - Light hissed through his teeth.

"I've warned you, Yagami-kun!" - L said and without losing more words, with his usual flexibility, used his left foot to kick Light hard in the stomach. The boy didn't even make a move to dodge the kick, he was too wrapped up in his anger, so he was thrown back and landed on his ass with a loud 'thump'. However he was fast back on his legs and attacking Ryuuzaki with all of his strength.

Fists and legs came into life, starting a dangerous sequence; once swift and sharp, the other time slower but more precise. Groans and hisses of pain, anger and determination filled out the room. Numerous files ascended into the air, accompanying L and Light in their grotesque-like or maybe macabre dance...? Chairs became floating missiles and tables shields. Chaos was too delicate to describe what kind of hell had opened its gates right there, in the middle of the headquarters.

Others were to shocked, terrified to even utter a word of objection, maybe to scarred of being drawn into the fight as well? They only observed flying objects and actually persons as well, waiting for the end, in whatever form it would result in. Judging by the degree of aggression, it could be only something horribly painful...

Or maybe there would be no end to it? Not now at least... Both, L and Light, though sweaty and already visibly bruised, didn't stop in their wild fight, like it was something they were simply living for. And maybe they were? Maybe that was the main purpose from the beginning of their first encounter? To collide, to clash, to tear and wear each other down from every single shadow mask and layer, every thoroughly built wall isolating them in one way or another from the world and sometimes even themselves. To discover the truth concealed and stifled by different burdens, sometimes coming from their surroundings, sometimes added from their own choice. To find that core element, deciding and describing who they really were and not only who they seemed to be, which was now laden, almost forgotten, but seemingly still existing somewhere inside of them, once for a while coming into the view thanks to their constant struggling. Like two atoms rotating in close distance, was it possible for them to create some kind of a new element from their collision? Or was it only more or less meaningful devolution of energy? Was there an answer to these questions at all...?

Finally, Light had lost it once again and after he managed to tackle Ryuuzaki to the ground for a moment, he pinned his wrist above his head with one of his hands and with the other he griped his chin, as to make L look at him directly.

"STOP IT ALREADY!" - he shouted into Ryuuzaki's face, eyes full of grudge and sorrow, not only wrath. - "Can't you simply answer my question for once when I'm asking? And can't you stop being so selfish? How do you think I feel, Ryuuzaki? Did the almighty L-kun think about that even for a mere moment? Did you take into consideration that you're actually hurting me with your behaviour? Do you think I'm doing all of this just because it's fun for me, entertainment? Sometimes even YOU could and SHOULD act normal! So for once face the truth, whether you like it or not! And above all, LET ME WORK!" - he hissed, almost touching Ryuuzaki's nose with his and then standing abruptly, leaving him on the ground, the man still and unresponsive. Light didn't know if it was because of his lengthy talk or just from exhaustion...

* * *

L told himself that his behaviour wasn't any form of sulking, not at all, and that Light was downright wrong. But even in his head it wasn't very convincing. Well, not after that spectacular fight with the boy... He'd probably compromised himself to some point, not taking Light with him and the other members of the task force and acting on his whim once again. How could he be so unprofessional? It was more than simply wrong, it was alarming, distressing because he was acting like than more and more frequently, unnecessarily childish and stubborn even as for him. And all that when around Light, at least more than eighty five percent of it... It was thoughtless, simply thoughtless and L wasn't the one to use this word in reference to himself, up to this point.

However knowing it didn't make it easier to change it. It is said that realization, acknowledgment is the first step to the healing process. L doubted that it was so true in his case. It was more about his willingness to change and right now he wasn't certain of his own intentions even. Because it definitely wasn't only about fairness and professionalism. It was about something more. More complicated, complex, subtle but meaningful, ambiguous. A mystery, one that even L himself had extreme problems in solving.

It disturbed him greatly, especially that he had this hard case he should be focusing on right now. That's why he hated emotions! And when he finally opened up somehow, even if a little bit, it turned out that he was right, that he should stay cold and unapproachable for his and others sake. Though now was a little bit to late as he couldn't come back to the point he was before so easily if it was possible at all. Besides, he would have to remove Light from his surroundings totally in order to even start it. It wasn't an option in current situation. No good way to get out of it... If he was one to believe in karma, he would say that it had finally get its toll on him, using the person of Light Yagami as a tool of course. As a brilliant mind he would have to appreciate the impetus of such a plan then.

He looked at the boy, or rather a young man, that was sitting not so far from him in front of the computer. Really, right now they should unite their forces and push the investigation forward, not stumble over personal matters, as they seemed to be constantly doing nowadays. But it was so hard to distance oneself from what they started. If L felt that way, what about Light? Was it true that he didn't spare his feelings any thought? Probably, as he was mostly focused on his own twisted feelings. He was so childish! But... he knew about it from the beginning. It was always like that, he didn't feel the need to do something about it only. No one, except Watari, was long enough in his presence to be so bothered by it or want him to change it because of something more than simple irritation, discontent.

Maybe he should take it into consideration? Just because they should concentrate on catching the murderer together. Or mostly because of it... Right?


	16. What If?

**Author's Note:** I should probably apologize for the wait and I want to do exactly that. I had some things to attend to, my studies among all of that. But quitting with the excuses... Finally, here's another chapter for you. As usually, I hope you'll like it. I'm waiting for any comments, as to know if you like how the story is going... I know that I'm somehow slow in development of Light's and L's feelings towards each other, however I believe that with their personalities, any romance wouldn't just bloom in an instant... Sorry if it disappoints you, though I assure that it will bloom into something finally...

* * *

They had to close the entire park and that wasn't a common occurrence. It was something unusual, thus noticeable. What's more, not 'any' park, but Yoyogi Koen, one of Tokyo's largest parks, where people go for morning jogging and picnics with their families. It was almost like closing Central Library. There was no way it would go unnoticed by people and then... press. And if there was press, there were more people. The whole case will end up revealed to the masses then, newspapers and TV announcing it as a new, terrifying sensation. Panic and commotion will spread. Subsequently, it will end in impeding the investigation and catching the sick bastard standing behind the whole thing. 'Fuck!' was the only word Light had in his mind to define the situation right now.

He was sure that the murderer had it all planned from the beginning. To attract the masses, make people aware of his existence and doings. He was showing his statement but also looking for admiration, more than sick in Light's opinion. He was a man with a serious psychic disorder that should be brought to justice and nothing more, definitely not an unique sculptor that he thought of himself. They should be capable of stopping him already, him and L, but... Light was wearied and low on morals, though he could only work harder, there was no other option.

He looked at the photography from the crime scene at Yoyogi on his computer and seeing another victim only boiled his blood more. Once again it was a female, however this time she was a little older than the previous women. Motou Kimiko, as they already knew her personal data, was thirty two, a married woman and a mother of a six-year-old boy, teaching English at one of the local colleges. According to the information, she led a peaceful, quiet life.

However now, her petite body was violated, desecrated in a horrible way, dismembered only to be combined once again and posed in a somewhat theatrical way. Her left hand was tightened into a fist, positioned over her chest, where her heart should be beating but was deafeningly silent, while the right one was outstretched, holding what resembled Light a spindle. Face that Light thought should be contorted in pain and fear was... serene. Long hair, almost as black as L's, surrounded her head in delicate waves, giving her facial features distinctive softness. Dark brown eyes emanated calm strength. Though, woman's lips were what really attracted one's attention; relatively small but beautifully carved, were tinted burgundy red, savouring the thought of the finest wine. Partially parted, made her look like she had been frozen while speaking, in the same time making an illusion that she could be awaken in that very moment to end her suddenly ceased thoughts. Light couldn't imagine what the perpetrator did that his victims' faces weren't twisted in dread. Sedatives? Relaxing pills? Some kind of a twisted mind game? Hypnosis? Answer to that could be crucial, unfortunately not in his reach as for now.

Light sighed inwardly, rubbing his temples absent-mindedly. He should concentrate on achievable goals and maybe that would move the investigation further, as everything else seemed to fail up to this point. His head wouldn't cope with counting percentages any more, so he himself will stick to facts and leave the 'what ifs and coulds' to L. It should be more efficient than stumbling over his own uncertainties all the time. Probably...

Light's gaze wandered from the computer screen to L, currently absorbed by some other case files and, not surprisingly, chocolate cookies. It looked like he was dividing his attention evenly between eating and reading, though from observation and experience Light knew that his admiration and love for sweets didn't have negative effect on his work. L stated stubbornly that it even sharpened his mind... Strange little freak... He shouldn't think about him and, more so, stare at him so blatantly. After all, he was treated by him like a hindrance most of times and only his detective skills were of some value. Not much of a value nowadays, considering his poor mind condition. And what if it was to remain like this for an undefined period of time? Would L discard him without any further consideration, forgetting about him in an instant? Was he actually so unimportant to him? Only a tool? He would like to think otherwise, but...

"I will take advantage of Light-kun's engrossment with staring at me and he may as well listen to what I have to say. Though I would like him to concentrate more on what I will be actually saying and not on my persona as such. However complimenting is that action coming from Light-kun..." - L said, turning his chair to face Light; nothing on his face showing if he really believed in his own words.

The said boy's expression changed from lost in thought to that of shock, as to finally settle on one between anger and embarrassment. Surprisingly, and thankfully, he managed to bite his tongue before spitting some venom directed at L because it could definitely end in another superfluous fight. And Light's mood was far from making it possible for him to enjoy one of those. So he tightened his jaw, took a calming breath and asked L as simply as he could:

"What?" - if L was somehow startled by Light's simple, non-aggressive answer, he didn't let it show.

"I have simply determined that this time the victim depicts Ananke from Greek mythology, the personification of necessity, destiny and fate, as the woman is holding a spindle that was attributed to the goddess. She was said to mark the beginning of the cosmos and seen as the one ordaining fate, hence greatly respected by people and other gods as well... I would like for Light-kun to think, what could that particular choice of deity by the murderer mean for our investigation. I already have a theory, however comparing it with Light-kun's possible one can reveal some new points of view. After all, I've chosen Light-kun for my partner myself and that alone speaks of his intelligence and value... Which is only further proved by his own words and actions of course. Though, focusing on the previous matters, when Light-kun will thought out the facts I presented him with, I would like him to let me know it if that's good with him." - L looked at Light expectantly and if Light wouldn't know the man, he would say that with a hint of warmness in his eyes. Not that it was really possible...

Was L wangling something, being suddenly so nice to him? What could he want from him, saying all this crap about Light's intelligence and value? There definitely were some hidden motives behind it... If he only knew them... Well, he will find out sooner or later. Now he should focus on what he decided on earlier, facts.

"There is no reason to wait for my answer Ryuuzaki-kun. I already have it... Following the murderer's previous pattern, the simplest explanation is that he wants us to believe in his godliness. He is supposed to posses certain control over our population and its fate, undeniable authority, which is exposed through his 'art'. He is the one deciding what is sublime and worth worshipping, consequently leading us along the right path. Without him we're lost, therefore he is the necessity. To him, our understanding of art is probably horribly blurred and maimed, something to be straightened. Moreover, art is not the gist of our lives and to him it should be, as he is so transfixed by it. I don't think it is more complicated than that, as from the beginning the perpetrator didn't try to hide his motives... They are suppose to be easily comprehended in my opinion. The selection of the crime scenes only confirms that. Art is to be marvelled at, not hidden in dark alleys..." - Light tried to explain with his usual confidence, to not give L new arguments against him and his reasoning.

"Ah, Light-kun is quite right in his argumentation. Although I would go ahead in my presumptions... I estimate there is over sixty percent probability that the murderer doesn't actually find people worth cleansing. They're too far gone in their blind enchantment with kitsch..." - L stated, munching one of the cookies like he was tittle-tattling with his best friend and not discussing a murderer's case. And he really wanted to become that man's best friend? Maybe he was delirious at some point not even realising it? But then, he still felt strong emotions being around L, so... did he become mental? Great, once again L was his main focus. What a pain! He will manage to overpass it!

"What are you implying? Because according to what you say, the murderer won't stop his killings until everyone will be exterminated, maybe except a few individuals he will consider his... mates, people with the right view on art. If there would be someone like that... You think the perpetrator will become more extreme in his methods and the number of victims? That what we experienced was some kind of a... preview, prologue?"

"Yes, this is what I have in mind, Light-kun. You do not agree with my train of thought in this matter?" - L asked, licking his fingers from the remains of chocolate that the cookie left there. Light couldn't refrain from commenting this time, sarcasm audible in his voice.

"How well-manner of you, Ryuuzaki-kun. I have no doubts that the murderer we're after wouldn't spare your life. You don't know how to act civilized, so I would be scared to even think about your cultural tastes... Are you not afraid of becoming another victim? Maybe you should seriously consider changing your habits...?" - L stopped in his tracks, focusing his eyes on Light, one of his thumbs immediately finding way into his mouth and Light cursed himself for voicing his trivial, stupid thoughts.

"Is that what Light-kun really thinks? Because it sounds like he wouldn't mourn after my possible death... Should I reconsider his presence here in fear of my own well-being?"

"I didn't say I want to kill you Ryuuzaki-kun. I just said that you're rather not a... cultural person." - Light muttered awkwardly.

"But you took into account the murderer's profile in your assumptions of my persona, Light-kun. As if you thought that I will meet him in person soon." - L stated somewhat accusingly.

"And how would I know that? I don't have the slightest idea who he is! What are you even trying to say? That I'm co-operating with the perpetrator in order to kill you? Are you insane? I just stated that you can't act like a normal human being should around others... Like you wouldn't know that already... The rest was just my stupid talking. Besides, I don't think that there are high chances for the murderer finding you, so logically choosing for his victim. Give me a break, Ryuuzaki-kun." - Light almost hissed.

"You're the one who started this topic, Light-kun. However, I do not think I could become another victim for now, when the murders are still more of a statement and less of an extermination from that simple reason that all of the killed ones are of exceptional beauty. If one wanted, couldn't find beauty when looking at me, so don't you worry Light-kun..." - L commented with slight cynicism.

Light looked at him wordlessly for a moment. L believed in this? That he is not beautiful enough to become a victim? Even if considering the idea was silly from the beginning, aside from that, L still thought he was not good looking or even ugly? Light found it astonishing. Probably because in moments of weakness he found Ryuuzaki's appearance fascinating and...

"Why so sure, Ryuuzaki-kun? You're quite exotic if I would be the one to judge... Alabaster juxtaposed with pitch black. That luscious hair of yours, unreadable eyes, slender body... I can easily imagine you as mythological Nyx if it was a man... God of the night, shadowy figure of power and beauty." - Fuck! He couldn't keep his mouth shut, could he? Oh, he was doomed now... After what L said before about his feelings and what Light said now... He will be crashed by the man... Though it turned out to be another time when L surprised him. He lowered his gaze and harshly bit down on his thumb.

"Light-kun should stop being silly again and change the topic to something more valid. I would also appreciate if he will restrain himself from uttering everything he has on his mind if it's about me, and more so if it's about my appearance. It's somewhat distracting." - after that comment he turned to his computer, not waiting for Light's response.

Light looked at L's back with mouth agape. Did he misheard something? His comments were... distracting? And L admitted it? Maybe he understood it differently than Light? For him they could be distracting in a negative way, right? But if not... God! Why did he constantly asked himself so many questions when thinking about L? Yet, he was strangely nice. And his answer was atypical. He will have to wait and see if it was an isolated incident. Then he could come to some kind of a conclusion...

* * *

He tried to be likable and what? It backfired. Now he was confused and agitated to some point. It appeared that compliments of any kind, excluding those about his knowledge and intelligence, as they were stating something obvious, made him vulnerable and unable to react appropriately... Calmly and unemotionally that is. He was slowly losing ground from under his feet and he didn't like it. It made him feel like an uncertain teenager, needing assurance and assistance from those around him. But he wasn't one, he was an adult and he should act like it. Irrespective to his normal childishness and stubbornness. He shouldn't be flustered after Light's silly comments. They were said only to irritate him and remind him of his quirks, in behaviour as well as in appearance.

Though he new all that, he was insecure and even... uneasy. Because some part of him wanted to actually believe in those compliments. To know that someone accepted his distinctness and even found it... pleasing and... desirable. He constantly reminded himself that he shouldn't possess such hidden wishes. But they started to win over his well-arranged, logical mind. What if they finally win for good? How will it end?

He suddenly called to his mind that one kiss shared with Light-kun. Would it be like that again? He could remember the warmness and softness of Light's lips. How it enveloped him, making him strangely nervous and calm in the same time. It made him feel like never before and so he was lost as how to describe it, name it exactly... It was a new experience, unfamiliar one. The intimacy of Light's delicate, cautious touch, their unusual proximity, the attention he got from the other one waiting for his reaction, consent. All of it was... heart-warming and to this point in his life L didn't have many memories, as well as experiences, that encircled his cold heart with such warmness. It make him feel... alive. A feeling that he somehow long forgotten about. But it was traitorous in its beauty. That's why he gave up on it, storing remembrance of it in the depths of his mind or maybe heart...

But it didn't matter right now. What mattered was that this feeling started to emerge once again and he wasn't sure if he was able to repress it... or if he wanted to... Was he opening up? If yes, it was all because of Light-kun, or thanks to him, depending on the view... Was it really all right to let it happen just like that? Was his resistance useless or simply unnecessary? Once again, if yes, Light was the answer here, wasn't he?


	17. Skipping The Charades

**Author's Note: **Firstly, I'd like to thanks those who reviewed my story and of course added it to their favourites, alerts and me as their favourite writer. I'm honoured :D.

Ok, as the last chapter was updated by me after a long period of time, I thought that, why not to atone for it somehow... ;D And as I had the next chapter already in progress and a flow in writing the rest of it, I just decided on posting it...

Another part of a "surprise" is that's actually the longest one that I have written up to this point. It just somehow happened that I couldn't end it, being it as short as usually... What's more, for some of you, there is finally an actual breakthrough... Of what kind? You will have to read of course... So, have a nice time doing it. Write comments if you you want to point something. :)

* * *

"L, there is something you should see. Switch on the JNN station." - Watari's voice informed the detective through a microphone installed in his computer.

Losing no time, L switched the TV to the right programme, only to clench his jaw in an almost invisible irritation. They were showing the news and the broadcaster was currently announcing that a cruel murder has been committed in Tokyo Yoyogi Koen, approximately ten hours ago. Something he dreaded for some time... It was like opening the hell's gates and they were the ones that had to deal with it if they didn't want their investigation compromised completely.

L could see Light with the corner of his eye and maybe his facial expression was more outright but showed feelings similar to L's. They both knew that from this point everything will become harder, as there will be people trying to obtain information from every possible source, sometimes using questionable methods and ruining the task force's efforts.

L hated when the outside world meddled with his cases, though he knew that, unfortunately, despite all the means he possessed, he couldn't stop the public opinion from interfering once it got even the smallest piece of knowledge about what they were working at, who they were trying to catch.

Many argued with him that people should be aware of the danger because then they could protect themselves, be watchful. For L, the fact was that most of times, when a serial killer, a psychopath marked somebody as his victim, there were small chances to escape him. Well, at least when it was a murderer that L was supposed to capture, in assistance of Light and others that is, and had a hard time doing it. Because if L couldn't win, who could?

The second matter was that journalists and such, in their run after information, often alarmed the killer and make him change his location or plans, which L for example predicted already, so in consequence thwart his capture or strongly impede it. L couldn't afford it. He already had to much difficulties...

"L-kun? I don't think it's a good time for you to be lost in thought. We have a big problem here..." - Light's voice serious. L focused his gaze on him.

"I know Light-kun. I was merely trying to find the best way to deal with it."

"Well, that's good but maybe you should do that after watching the whole programme... Because not a second ago they declared that one of their reporters had spoken with an eyewitness... Though, the man is now not available as he had been charged, not long after making his unofficial statement, for a mild assault. Isn't it somehow more important right now?" - Light smiled stiffly, knowing the importance of the situation.

L almost forgot how to breath for a second.

"Light-kun, immediately check the police database for any recently arrested men fitting to the description. It doesn't matter that he is in jail, he can not be safe there and it is our main priority to find him before the killer do. It can be our only valid source of information about the murderer, we cannot lose him..."

Light only nodded and went to work without any superfluous questions. They really had no time to waste.

After about thirty minutes of file-searching, Light stood up from his chair and almost run to L, who was currently discussing something in a hurried manner with Watari. Light didn't even consider waiting for them to end the conversation, information he dug up were of utmost importance.

"Ryuuzaki-kun, I found it. The man we're looking for is being kept for now at Mita Police Station. We have to send someone there in order to question him, we can't wait!" - the boy almost shouted.

L nodded to Watari only and the older man left the room.

"Light-kun did a good job and I agree that we have no spare time. However, we won't interrogate him at Mita station. It's too dangerous and what's more, walls have ears... We have to bring the man here, there's no other option."

"But how do you want to do that? You can't just go there and take him without explanation... He has been charged! Japan police isn't so easy to order around by the people they're have no direct connections with. The government may know about our investigation, as well as the police head force, but they will need time to confirm that at the police station. Especially, when you want to take the man that wasn't only charged with mild assault but is also supposed to be a witness of a murder of such a caliber... Those of the lower grade don't know who leads the investigation. We WILL have to wait!" - Light stressed.

"Light-kun? We're actually waiting because of your need to flood me with these nonsensical revelations of yours. We'll handle it when we get there. Please, have faith in me, Light-kun. Now, put your coat on and we're going. Watari is already waiting for us in the car. Hurry up." - he said, shooting Light an expectant look.

Light sighed inwardly but did as he was told to. They really had no time for arguments...

* * *

When they arrived at Mita Police Station, to Light's surprise, everything went relatively smooth. L showed some kind of a police badge (though he had never seen L with a badge before) and an unknown looking, written document. That was all that sufficed for the police officers to bow with respect before them and show them the right cell. And thankfully, their guy was there, alive. Light couldn't stop a sigh of relief escaping his mouth at that sight.

Only after a moment he noticed that the man was not alone. What's more, he was with someone who Light, as well as L, already met. No one other but Motou Ayumu, the lawyer. Light was startled and couldn't even hide it. What was that man doing here? With their witness above all? L, being more composed from the two, went to asking questions right away, not bothering with any proper courtesy.

"Why are you here?" - after L's sudden question, Light had to lower his head for a moment to hide his embarrassment for the man's action. Though, the said man didn't care even the tiniest bit.

It seemed that Ayumu-sama wasn't moved much by L's ungentlemanly outburst, as he looked composed, maybe a little surprised and curious, but he hid it well using diversion as his weapon.

"I should be the one asking that, don't you think... Ryuuga-san, if I remember correctly." - the man said politely, however his tone was rather cold this time.

"We're not authorised to share information with outsiders, Motou-san, I'm afraid. We're merely send by higher-ups to take the man present here with us. If you're not informed about that detail, here are the papers confirming it." - L passed the documents. Light thought that he was in no mood to be discussed with. Ayumu-sama didn't know L...

"Well, it seems that it's true..." - he nodded his head, returning the papers to L but eyeing Light I the same time. Why? Was he considered the weaker one here? The one willing to talk? Had he everything written on his face or what...? - "However, I'm not here on vacation... I am a lawyer as you may remember and it should be obvious that I'm here to do my job. And I fulfil my duties exhaustively. Always. Just a trait of mine..."

To Light it sounded almost like threat of some kind. He was surprised to some point that the Ayumu-sama standing before them was the same man that helped them some time ago. Back then he was kind, courteously smiling but now... harsh and demanding. Once again it confirmed that people had many sides to show, depending on situations they were in.

L? He was still the same old him...

"Oh, so that should not be a problem then. Because your work ended in the moment we came here, actually. We don't have time for casual chit-chat if that's what you usually do."

On the margin of Light's brain arose a thought that L disliked Ayumu-sama more than he usually had in his habit if considering his dislike for strangers. And people as such... He seemed somehow more engaged in sharing unpleasantries than usual.

Light finally snapped from his torpor and tried to appease the tense situation. Besides, the poor man sitting in the corner of the plank-bed looked like was about to die from a heart-attack. L and Ayumu-sama probably forgot about him completely, drawn into the... conversation.

"I'm sorry, but the two of you seemed to forgot where you are and what you are here for..." - both of the man turned to gaze at Light momentarily. - "Ayumu-sama, you're here 'pro publico bono', right?" - the man nodded silently. - "I thought so... It didn't look like a case you could normally have. With no offence..." - Light bowed to the man they were here for. He only shook his head slightly, his face relaxing a little. - "I'm sorry for my partner. He has a short temper..." - he shot L a glance, informing him to stay shut for a moment, but he only bit at his thumb angrily. - "What is important Ayumu-sama, is that we were send here to take the man with us, as he had become a part of a bigger case then the one he was charged with. You should not be afraid of the man's well being, as I know you a righteous person, he will be treated with respect and his rights will be complied. I would like to say you more, however, as Ryuuga-san said, neither me nor him are authorised to do this. If it would be enough, you could give your visiting-card and after receiving permission, I will personally inform you on the matter. I give you my word." - Light stated seriously, looking Ayumu-sama straight in the eyes.

"I see... Well, if Raito-san gives me his word then let it be. I find his person trustful and believe he will keep his promise." - he bowed slightly, although his sharp gaze was focused on L, a silent warning hidden in it.

"Light-kun should not do as he sees fit. It's not hi..." - L started but Light interrupted him.

"Leave it, Ryuuga-san... It's the right thing to do." - he said harshly.

Light have enough of people talking to him in third person already... It was simply sick... And however respectful and interesting person he took Ayumu-sama for, and L, he wanted to leave this place and interrogate their witness. What a pain!

"Well then, I would be leaving you." - Ayumu-sama spoke once again. - "And if it's about your case, Kenshin-san, don't be afraid, I won't forget about it. We will see later." - he assured the man (whose name has not been even spoken up to this point, though it was all about him) and left with a bow, smiling to Light and not even bothering to look at L again.

* * *

"What the fuck was that, L? I thought you were a professional and that definitely wasn't professional! I knew that you were bad with people but seeing what I saw, it was an understatement. You should know when to stop and shut that mouth of yours, because there was no need to act that almighty around Ayumu-sama. It's good that I was there with you or he could make some serious problems for us." - Light shouted at L after they went back to the headquarters, their witness safely transported, with Watari as his guardian. L eyed Light with obvious irritation, as if Light was at fault, not him.

"If this Ayumu-sama, as you call him, is a as righteous and kind as you seem to see him then why would he be a source of any problems? Besides, people should know where their place is. It should be enough for him that I had showed him the documents proving our authorisation in this case." - L stated coldly.

"Maybe YOU should remember that not everyone are so cold-hearted as YOU are and that some of us actually CARE about others. EVEN if they're not related or friends. Because that's what Ayumu-sama did! He was concerned about his client, a human being. But how YOU could understand that, huh? What YOU see is only yourself and those cases of yours! Cases, not the people they concern! And we're here with the witness we were after ONLY because I was acting like a normal person should, cultural and with respect. YOU should finally learn what it means because I have ENOUGH of that overgrown pride and mightiness of yours in action!"

Oh, how pissed he was! Really! They could have settled it nicely, without needless games of 'who is the boss here' but of course it was above L. How typical! Light just couldn't comprehend how long L was going to make the same mistakes. Wasn't he intelligent? He was, so it was even worse... Light thought that the man could mature finally, after so many talks and fights with him about it, but it seemed that he was wrong. He still simply didn't want to...

"And maybe Light-kun should remember that I am not normal! How many times do I have to say it or prove it with my actions for him to understand it? You promised the man information, Light-kun, and what's worse, I think you were serious about it! I knew from the beginning that Light-kun was unhealthy fascinated by that Ayumu-man... Light-kun always appeared to me like the one to go after looks and charm!" - L finally shouted as well.

"Yeah? That's what you think? So how strange that I finally ended up with you of all people!" - Light totally lost his nerve, shouting the first thing that came to his mind. Fuck...

An ear-splitting silence embraced the room, his own erratically beating heart the only sound he could hear. Two men looking at each other, one with suddenly unreadable expression, the second one's face twisted in self-regret. Finally, L had spoken, voice unbelievably composed and monotone.

"I think that Yagami-kun is confusing his personal tastes and matters with work. It should not be done. Now, we should stop this void argument, as none of us would benefit from it. We have an eyewitness to interrogate and we shouldn't convey our personal stresses at him while doing it."

Light almost pointed out that if he was confusing work with personal life then L was doing exactly the same, accusing him of fascination with beautiful faces as such, though he bit his tongue. He knew when L started to act like he did right now, after all... When he was hurt. He built impenetrable walls around himself, distancing from everyone as much as possible, sticking to his professional self.

Light wasn't stupid. He was aware what caused that sudden change. He knew, he knew very well, that despite his power and intelligence, L was very insecure about himself as a person. He knew it very well, because he was the one that tried to change it lately. He hinted and once or more stated rather blatantly that L wasn't ugly or bad looking to him, quite the opposite. He complimented L's looks, reassured him of his value as a possible friend, fought for his attention and time and now... shouted something negating all of his doings. He made it seem a lie. And considering L's reaction, the man thought that it was exactly that from Light's side. A one, big, comic lie. That wasn't something easy to repair, rebuild.

But Light didn't want L to believe in that. It wasn't true. It was something that he had shouted in rage. Probably his competitive side showing itself, trying to win the argument, to hit where it hurts the most, to leave the opponent vulnerable and unable to fight back... He had to make up for it somehow... He really wanted L as his friend, by his side.

He looked at the man still standing before him silently and, as it seemed to happen more often in his life lately, did the first thing that came to his mind.

He came closer to L and embraced him, not letting the other time to react, holding him tightly even though he tried to push him away, startled. But Light wasn't going to comply to his wishes. He was going to make him believe once again in what's right. The truth. That's why he strengthened his grip, so that L couldn't escape him or hit him, his motivation making him more powerful than usual probably.

"L..." - he whispered.

"No, Yagami-kun! Let me go this instant! We have no time for your stupid games anymore! Do you hear me? Let me GO!" - he shouted, squirming almost desperately.

"No L. Not until you listen to me properly... I know it's selfish of me but I don't care. I want you to understand and believe me..." - he said calmly, convincingly.

"I'm the one who does not care! You're in no position to persuade me into believing to your words, Yagami-kun. You showed me the truth by yourself just a minute ago. I should remember that people forget about their acts easily while arguing and that's what you did. Maybe I was duped once but it actually served me well, because I won't let it happen again in my entire life. Now... Let. Me. GO!" - he hissed, his normally wide eyes squinted from anger. Light didn't react, not physically.

"I understand your doubt, L. But what I shouted that 'minute ago' wasn't true, as what I had stated many times before was not an act. I was angry with you, as I was so many times up to this point. I shouted what I shouted because I wanted to hurt you, to shut you up. Because you acted like a child again, in my opinion at least. People say many hurtful things when being pissed, but it's not necessarily true... Do not let it disturb you. Do not let it change what is between us, L." - Light said, voice full of emotions overfilling him.

"Stop this nonsense, Yagami-kun, I'm telling you. I don't want to hear it!" - L demanded once more.

"No, L. You have to believe me! I'm telling the truth!" - he hugged him tighter.

"You're not! And you don't have to lie anymore. I won't remove you form the task force if that's what it is about... I won't! Just... let me go, Light-kun. Let me go..." - L whispered finally. Not able to shout anymore, mental as well as physical fatigue catching up with him probably, result of him non-stop working and stressing.

Light could only look at him wordlessly, his image burning into his eyes, mind... heart. He felt like he hadn't had seen another human being in his entire life. He was the only one... The only one worth looking at, thinking about, embracing, trying to understand... to feel something for... L. Only L. It was that simple...

He felt his chest tightening painfully and finally closed his eyes, in the same time leaning in and resting his forehead against L's. Their breaths mingling, so close they were standing now. He knew... He knew that it was probably pointless, though he couldn't stop. He couldn't stop feeling like this and even if he actually could, he wouldn't want to repress it. Even if it meant constant pain of rejection. He... Loved L. Yes, he could admit it now. What point would there be in hiding it from himself?

He was aware of L's... feelings. But right know, he couldn't hold himself back. It was just... One last time. One last time he would taste L's purity even if it meant making him hate him more. It would be his last memory of them together like that.

And so Light moved his head delicately, heart almost stopping, and placed his lips on L's. He slid them slowly, trying to remember L's taste, fragrance, in the meantime shifting slightly, one of his hands slipping into the mass of L's black, unruly hair, the other resting low at his back. It didn't matter that the man could now easily push him aside. It was bound to happen... But L didn't move. He just stood there, as Light stopped his foolish attempts at coaxing a likable response out of him.

"Why are you doing this? Is this fun for you? Is my oddity so sickeningly fascinating that you have to examine it with such cruel methods?" - L asked almost inaudibly.

Light couldn't do anything else. He had to be truthful. He lifted L's head so he could see his face and pierced him with his indescribable eyes, eyes possessing the ability to steal souls.

"You're somehow right L. You're so fascinating that I can't leave you despite your obvious flaws and oddities. I want to examine you from every possible angle, to find out more and more about you. Sometimes I want to beat you into a bloody pulp but, on the other hand, I remember how fun can you be when you stop being pushy. And I'm doing this from one reason, which somehow wasn't clear to this very moment. I love you."

And that's when L started to silently cry.


	18. The Man I Fall For?

**Author's note:** Hi again! It wasn't long this time I think... :) I have some free time after all... A break from studies... But, to the point... Thank you for all the lovely replies, no matter the form, it made me happy and maybe that's why I wrote this next chapter so fast... ;) And not only that... Once again, it's the longest one I've written... Even longest then the last one...

What I think, and should announce probably, is that the reason for this, is that I want to end this story. Definitely before summer ;D And it's just better I think to post longer chapters than more of them but shorter... No matter how much I love the story, I realised how long I'm already writing it... But it doesn't mean that I would write it with less attention, quite the opposite, so don't you worry ;).

So, enjoy the chapter hopefully... :)

* * *

It was wrong... It was so wrong! Why was this happening? He should be immune to it like to a common disease after taking a vaccine... He was immune to everything else! Or rather everyone else... But this boy in front of him...? Firstly, he swiftly gained L's attention with the help of his brightness, intelligence. Then, using kindness and showing interest in his person (that seemed real but casual), he forthright started to fight for his friendship.

But when did he start to seep into his mind, almost imperceptibly, like a dangerous poison? When did he reach further than that? Why did he overlook it?

Multiple questions run through his mind and he couldn't even focus on one of them. Feelings, that some of he couldn't even name, crammed his already confused brain but not only this, also his... heart?

Because it was beating so fast in his chest... He could feel it pumping blood through his veins like it was mad. All the adrenaline... he wasn't in actual danger, was he? So why was his body reacting this way? Was it telling him to run from this place, from Light?

He screamed, tossed and threw demands but to no avail. Light didn't listen to him. He gripped him hard and told him all the things that he didn't want to hear. They were all lies... from the beginning, right? The attention, the compliments, the touches... Lies that, from some unknown point, L wanted desperately to believe in. And that's what scared him the most.

Because, wasn't he deceived by Light, betrayed even? What he had said a moment ago was practically like stating outright that he had seen in L not an exceptional individual but what the rest had taken him for, a mentally challenged genius, a freakish but needed tool.

L tried to convince himself greatly that it was the case, but Light disturbed him in forcing this into his mind in order to finally make it the unquestionable truth. The boy hugged him tightly, whispering all the words he so badly tried to not acknowledge, but couldn't fight the weak side of him that wanted to make them real, so he could even once feel like something more than a letter on somebody's screen, the detective known as L.

How could Light play with him so cruelly? Wasn't it enough that he could easily stir up his anger and tear his mask of unmoved, one hundred percent objective detective?

But L could wait through this. Light would give up, bored by his fit of anger and then he would forget about every little word and gesture. It was likely to happen... It was! It was... But for all the adrenaline, he had no actual power and will in his body. Not anymore...

He himself was saying something but he didn't really pay attention to what it was, only some desperate demands and pleas... It was too much for him. Too much words, too many emotions. Light was too much for him, his stubbornness, persuasive voice so close to his ear. And then he kissed him and L felt his body tense involuntary, in an instant. And then the words again... He could hear them, almost visibly lingering in the air between them.

He couldn't comprehend anything anymore... What was the truth and what was a lie? Why was Light tormenting him, playing with his mind and feelings, of which existence he wasn't even aware of...? Why was he making him vulnerable?

He felt pain embracing his body, it squeezed his heart, tightened his muscles, made him unable to see anything. And only after Light delicately brushed his cheek with a thumb he realized that he was crying.

Silent tears trailed down his face and he, L, could do nothing to stop them. He cried. He cried because of another man, Light. And that meant that he was no longer who he used to be... Because the former him wouldn't drop even a single tear. The former him wouldn't feel a thing in this situation. And L felt... L had fallen from his adamant, immovable pedestal because of Light. And he had fallen... for him.

Unwillingly. Unexpectedly. Uselessly. And if Light wasn't telling the truth it was... unrequited.

But wasn't it for the better? He shouldn't feel this in the first place so if Light was merely playing at his cost... he should be somewhat relieved. Because he would stop tormenting him eventually, right? He would be bored with it... How long could one fake love if not getting actual profits out of it? L didn't think that for long... In the same time, the other side of his brain, or whatever it was, whispered to L that maybe it wouldn't be so bad? He wanted the attention, sweet words that Light offered him... He just didn't want to admit it openly... Maybe he should believe him, maybe he was really truthful? And maybe he was telling the truth, in his opinion, but just misreading his own feelings?

L was so tired, so spent... He, without thinking, rested his tear-stained face on Light's right shoulder, his own arms loosely at his sides.

"How am I... How am I supposed to believe you, Light-kun?" - he mumbled into his shirt weakly. - "You seem to be so sure about what it is... that you... supposedly... feel for me. But... How do you know? You said yourself that it was unclear to this point, so why...? Even if I wasn't to accuse you of a downright lie, you could be mistaken as for the... kind... of your feelings. Aren't I a freak? A disgusting excuse of a man? Aren't you heterosexual above all, Light-kun? How can you love a man? Ask yourself this questions before you say anything more that you would regret later. I can't... I don't want you to play with my head Light-kun, even if it's unconscious of you... I don't want to believe into something that isn't real..." - L said, somehow managing, to his own surprise, to speak relatively clear. Maybe crying cleared up his thoughts to some point after all...? Maybe he really was detective L straight to the bone...?

Light just looked at him wordlessly, eyes widened slightly in surprise. Was he considering his words? So, it was that shallow in reality, just as L thought... He only closed his eyes in order to hide his face traced with sad comprehension. However, Light didn't leave it at that...

"If you think that it will stop me from trying, L..." - he emphasized, using L's title without honorific by making a pause. - "then you're seriously mistaken. Maybe you have a point, saying that I supposedly am a heterosexual and that all of this, my confession, is a little bit sudden, but... Everything can change, right? I... had never thought of another man like I have about you. If someone were to tell me I will ever consider liking a man more than a friend, I would laugh or punch him, but... what is the point of lying to myself anymore? I think it's only about you, actually... Aversely to your impression, I'm actually more fascinated and attracted by one's intelligence than anything else... I don't deny that I like to marvel at someone's beauty, however, I find a challenging mind much more... stimulating. Besides, as I said before, I don't find you unattractive... And what's more... thought I said I love you, doesn't mean I will jump you on the first given occasion. I cannot hide that, although I had kissed you and found it quite pleasurable, and above all comforting, I'm not entirely... sure... about the physical part of my... love for you. I confessed it but it doesn't mean I have no uncertainties as for how it may develop. It is something... new, after all. It just that, I feel better after saying this and I think it will make some things easier to understand, for the both of us..." - he finally ended his long monologue.

L rose his head to look at Light after a moment, tears no longer streaming, only red hue in L's eyes giving away that he cried by now. From all the boy's words, one statement particularly caught his attention...

"From trying what, Light-kun? What will I not stop you from trying...?" - he asked, interested but in the same time, scared to hear the answer.

"Isn't it obvious L? From making you love me as well, of course... Because I WILL make it happen." - he stated firmly, strangely certain. And L couldn't actually comment on it. If Light knew... he wouldn't have to try even. What for if he was already in his snares? L was similar to Light, true... he just couldn't confess his feelings as easily as the other. He... wasn't sure if he would ever want to do that... or rather be ready to... Without asking himself if it was right, if he could express his feelings and not lose his ability to BE L, the detective, if he himself wasn't... too afraid.

"Maybe you're right, Light-kun and I can't literally stop you from trying but I can definitely not react to any of your advances..." - he said, louder this time, once again growing more confident, like his normal self. Well, normal according to him at least...

Light smiled then, strangely calm, and the last time touched L's cheek with the back of his palm in a soft caress. The detective almost leaned in, but held back in the last moment, though it probably didn't go unnoticed by Light, his face straight but one could see amusement in his eyes.

"I see, L-kun..." - he stated, going back to the honorific. - "A challenge it is then... I hope you're ready for that... Just now you made it tough for yourself... As for now, I think we have an important matter to attend to..." - he rose one of his brows and L only left the room silently, thinking that he wasn't so sure if he could stand up to Light in this kind of situation. And once again, if he really wanted to...

* * *

They entered the room to see their witness eating a piece of chocolate cake made by Watari, formally prepared for L. The man only looked at the delicious sweetness disappearing in someone else's mouth but did not comment, for once... Light was grateful.

And though, not five minutes ago he was discussing with L their heart matters, and he felt the need to once more evaluate what had happened and what he had heard, now was the time to leave it behind and become professional. It was a very important matter and every detail could be of utmost importance. They had to listen carefully and find useful information from the witness's testimony, even if he didn't suspect them to be useful. They had to see what was hidden, dim and make it clear if it was possible. If he really saw the culprit, a glimpse of him even? And if he couldn't recognise him, there could be things he did that would give him out... How had he moved, what had he used or what was he wearing... EVERY little detail.

"Hello again, Kenshin-san. I hope the way here was tolerable?" - Light asked, courteously, intending to put the man in a good mood, relax, so he would have no objections to talk with them without fear, openly. And as Light was known of his charisma, he though it should go nicely... If only L wouldn't scare the man somehow, without a reason...

"Y-Yes..." - the man stuttered a little bit, stopping consumption of the cake, still not exactly calm. And Light wasn't surprised. After all, the man had supposedly seen a serial killer, then got mixed up in a fight of some kind and landed up in jail, only to be taken from there to be interrogated by some unknown men, in an unknown place, though treated nicely... It could be more than confusing...

Not to mention that Kenshin-san wasn't exactly a model citizen of Tokyo. According to what they found out about him in the papers, he had been homeless from three years and participated in some street fights, however didn't cause any serious harm. What was more strange, there where no theft reports considering the man. So either Kenshin-san was a brilliant thief or he somehow managed to live on the streets without the need to steal any food and basic human supplies... Well, maybe he went to some kind of a hospice or a house for homeless... There where such institutions in Tokyo, though many homeless people didn't want to go there, too much pride or sometimes fear of being put to jail for some of their, not really righteous doings, most of them ensuing from their poor life situation.

But it was irrelevant in this moment. First things first...

"Good then... Do you want something to drink maybe? Tea, coffee, juice, water...?" - Light proposed hospitably.

"N-no, thank you. Wa-watari-san was so kind and prepared tea for me already." - the man said shyly.

"I see, well... Watari-san is a very hospitable person indeed. If there is nothing you need, Kenshin-san, then let me introduce myself and my partner properly. I am Yagami Light and the man standing by my side is Hideki Ryuuga. We only want to ask you a few questions and after that, you will be free. There is no reason for you to fear us, I assure you." - Light smiled encouragingly.

Kenshin-san looked at Light first but then his eyes rested on Ryuuzaki. Light sighed inwardly. Looking at him, and not knowing him, did nothing to rise one's spirits... Hopefully, Ryuuzaki won't sabotage his own work anymore. However, to Light's surprise, Kenshin-san seemed to loosen up a little after seeing him. Why? And then, after moving his head from one to the other, Light understood.

Kenshin-san was a homeless man, he had met with police and social workers more than once up to this point. And most of them didn't leave him with good memories... Well, that was just a scenario that Light thought was most probable... And so Light, in his neat suit and with his head kept high, resembled them much... But L...

Slouched posture, enormous bags under eyes, common and wrinkled clothes, no shoes, abnormally pale skin... He didn't exactly look like a typical detective. One could thought that he even spent some time on the streets... He didn't overwhelm the witness with his appearance. Light thought it was one of the few people that didn't label L as a freak after first glance at him, actually. Maybe they should learn something from the man...?

After his small evaluation of both detectives, Kenshin-san gave a slight nod, maybe deciding that it was no harm to speak with them.

"You want to know, what that journalist had been after, right? What I had seen in the park in the morning...? Would you believe me even? The journalist was after some hot information that people would buy and he said he would pay me, that's why I wanted to talk with him... But there was a fight... Besides, they would just laugh at me later... A homeless man seeing a murderer... They would say I was drunk and tell their own story, not even bothering if it was true... Or better, accuse me of doing it... That's how they are." - he stated like a matter of fact, no real bitterness in his words, like he was used to that kind of thing.

"We want to hear your version, Kenshin-san, not theirs. And we will believe you if your words will somehow hang together with what we found at the crime scene..." - L stated calmly with his monotone voice, looking at the man.

"Fair enough..." - Kenshin-san agreed. - "You have some questions or should I just say what I saw?"

"Firstly, we would like to hear your description of the events, or whatever you saw, and then we will probably ask some questions. Is that okay?" - Light asked politely.

"Yeah... So I just start... I want to go from here already. I don't like closed space..." - he muttered. - "You've found out that for some time I live on the streets probably... So I went to the park yesterday, in the evening to find myself a good place to sleep... It's not so cold at this time of a year and I like the scent of trees instead of fumes and food remainders that's in the old buildings that homeless usually occupy... That's why I've chosen the park. Besides, you don't have to pay to go there... So as I said, I went there and found myself a place for a good night's sleep. It was in the west side of the park. I laid down near some ginko trees, under cosy looking bushes. No one would bother me then and I wouldn't bother others, right? I really tried to find a place where no one would see me... People don't like homeless one's. You know, we're not pretty to look at, probably or something like that... Right... So, I just fell asleep there." - he said matter of factly once again.

Light and L just looked at him, not telling anything, waiting for the rest of the man's words.

"I had sprang up because of a sudden loud sound and when I opened my eyes I saw a car parked not so far from the bushes where I was hidden, it looked like a guard's or gardener's car with some symbols and inscriptions... It was morning at that time of course... There was a man standing near it, some kind of a tool in his hand... I couldn't see what it was exactly, because of the leaves... After a minute he put the thing into the car, got in himself and drove away. He wasn't in a hurry I would say... It was around four in the morning or something near it... After he was gone, I left my place and then I saw it... The... the statue..." - now Light could hear unhidden fear, mixed with dread and disgust in his voice. - "I've luck that I didn't touch it, cause when I came a bit closer and I realised it was a dead body... You would probably close me in a cell for life, right? Though, after I had seen it, I admit, I run blindly from the place after leaving this little bit what was in my stomach in the nearest bush... It was a horrible sight... The rest you know..." - he said, looking at the two of them, somewhat expectantly, probably waiting for a reaction.

There was only one question in Light's, and as the boy suspected L's as well, head. How clearly did Kenshin-sun see the man? L asked first it.

"You said that the bushes limited your vision, Kenshin-san. Though, how well did you see the man? How did he look?" - Light could almost feel the tension emanating from L, his curiosity, want. He wanted information about the murderer. And he wanted them badly. But he wasn't the only one. Light wanted them as much... It was almost overwhelming...

Kenshin-san scratched his partially bold head for a moment, thinking, trying to remember.

"As I said, there were this bushes, after all I slept in them and was afraid that the man would threw me out the minute he found me... So I didn't see him clearly... Well, not details if it's what you're asking... I remember that it immediately came to my mind that he couldn't be Japanese. Not entirely at least... He looked rather tall, like Ryuuga-san if he would stood normally." - he smiled slightly and Light couldn't feel a stupid pang of jealousy that this man looked at L with such attention. Jealousy? Over a homeless man in his forties? Was he insane? He managed to stop this silly thoughts luckily. - "It's high for a common Japanese. We're not tall after all and everyone above five feet and ten inches or so stands out... I think that at least... And he had a cap on his head, but I could see a glimpse of his hair. And it wasn't black or dark brown. Rather dark blond... How often do you see a Japanese man with hair like that? Maybe young one's... you know, they bleach it I've heard, but the older one's? Neee... Don't think so... From his profile he didn't look like a young boy, not an old one also... Though I could be wrong... Didn't see him that clear, after all, right...? Oh, he had some dungarees on him, just so you know. A red one. That's all..." - he said, once again waiting for a reaction.

L asked further. With hope?

"Could you recognise him on a photograph or describe him so we could draw his portrait?" - the man twisted his head for a no however.

"I didn't see his face, so it would be for nothing... Sorry..." - L only bit his thumb. And it was Light's turn for questions.

"What about the car? What was the colour? You remember what was exactly written or painted on it? The registration?" - he asked, though he knew there was no way the man remembered the numbers, he just had to do it, to be sure. Part of the job...

"Yeah, well... The car was beige or something close, don't now the colours well, and the pictures were green... Some plants, trees, something like that... The only inscription I remember was a name of a place in Tokyo I think... It was... Akihabara. The kanji was quite big..."

The rest of the questions were answered much the same. Kenshin-san saw nothing else of great importance, he didn't remember many details. Nothing else could be asked, or rather there was no point in asking it simply. They gathered as much information as they could... It was time to do something with what they collected...

"Thank you, Kenshin-san, for your time. We will definitely use the information you gave us. Watari will escort you from this place. And I only ask you, to not sell any information to the press. It would be quite a hindrance if they new something more than they already do... I now they promised you money, so... Watari will deal with this as well. Let us say that it will be a... reward for... eager co-operation. That, as well as cancellation of today's charges. I've heard that the fight didn't start form your account... What do you say? After all... you helped us." - L stated, unmoved that he was actually proposing a bribe... and a good one at that, Light thought. It was something to discuss later...

Kenshin-san eyed L suspiciously but then stretched out his hand into his direction. L grasped it and shook it slightly without hesitation, though there still was no smile on his face. However Kenshin-san smiled brightly, looking suddenly like he was five years younger.

"The pleasure is mine, Ryuuga-san. It was nice to meet you. You and your partner will probably find me if I was needed more... and I will help gladly. After all... I don't have much to do..." - he laughed shortly.

And as if sensing the moment, Watari came and after men exchanged usual courtesies, he left the room with Kenshin-san, leaving Light and L alone.

Light sighed loudly and looked at L, searching any feelings on the man's face, and not surprisingly, failing to do that.

"So... What do you think, Ryuuzaki-kun? Was this helpful?" - he eyed him curiously. Of course he had his own opinion, though he wanted to know L's.

"It was more than I had hoped for, Light-kun." - L said, biting on his thumb with a new found strength.

"Really, Ryuuzaki-kun?"

"Yes. And what Light-kun had wished for? Personal data of the culprit? Now we have something to really work with... Name of Tokyo's district, a description of a used car... Some actual features of the murderer. Though he could wear a blond wig, somehow I doubt it... And we should think of ourselves as lucky, Light-kun. The man, according to Kenshin-san's description, isn't an average Japanese. If he was, it would be much harder to come across him, but... As our eyewitness said himself, how many men are plus or minus my, and Light's as well actually, height and have dark blond hair? The age isn't so distinctive here as there are many males in this scale of it, though it is still helpful. It's a handful of information, Light-kun..." - he stated calmly, looking at his partner.

"You actually believe Kenshin-san, do you? Without any objections?" - Light asked.

"Yes I do, Light-kun. You see, he wasn't drunk when they found him and he spoke rather clearly, without changing his words during his talk. What he said was quite possible and we know that there were tire tracks in the park, as well as the bushes and even the vomit he talked about. He had no reason to lie to us above that... He hadn't felt violated in any form while being here. What's more, his handshake was normal, firm, not trembling and his pulse didn't point into him lying... He felt quite good here I would say. I hope Light-kun isn't a person that grounds his beliefs according to the witness's or victim's status...?" - he asked, looking like he already knew the answer.

"Of course not. I'm not stupid, as you should know... It's just... you were strangely nice to him, you know? You weren't like that with Ayumu-sama..." - he said, a little bit weary of what the other one would say.

"It's rather easy to comprehend, Light-kun. I do not like Ayumu-sama, hence my attitude towards him. I don't treat people I don't like nicely..."

"Yeah, I could observe that more than once... But, why? You like a homeless, not educated, unknown man more than Ayumu-sama...? It just doesn't make sense to me..." - he moved a little bit closer to L on the couch, unconsciously.

"I don't like people when they're too polite and smiling every other minute while being so demanding in the other. It's false to me... I don't like what is false. That simple, Light-kun."

"But-" - He wanted to say something but L interrupted him.

"You wanted to say that it's a little bit similar to the way you are? You're quite right then, Light-kun." - Light could see a beginning of a teasing smile on L's face. Anger started to boil in him slowly.

"So what know? You say to me that you don't even like me, as well?" - he said stiffly.

"No, no, Light-kun... Don't worry. I know better than that. Your not like that around me, no matter the reason. So I just happen to tolerate you." - he said slowly, his thumb teasing his lips constantly.

"Tolerate me? You... tolerate me?" - Light asked, his voice somewhat strained.

How L could even say that? Not two hours ago he was crying in his arms, trembling and now he had the guts to say something like that straight into his eyes? Was this man a rock or something? It wasn't normal... On the other hand, he never took him for one... He couldn't just leave it like that... After all, he had a big plan... A plan of making L love him. And he couldn't let it start with that bullshit coming out of L's mouth...

"Yes, Light-kun. I do... Aren't you glad? I though you would be..." - L said innocently.

Oh, he just dug his own grave...

"What else do you tolerate? I should probably learn right now, as to work with you better in the future... What do you think, Ryuuzaki-kun? Wouldn't it be wise of me?" - he asked, as innocently as L before.

The man stopped the process of biting his fingertip off and looked at Light suspiciously.

"What does Light-kun have exactly in mind? And may I ask why he is so unnecessarily close to my person? A second ago the space between us was undeniably larger. He should move himself away immediately. I do not like others invading my personal space and he knows that very wel. Do not make me hit him, please. I have enough of that already, as he should..." - L started to babble. Well it was like babbling to Light at least, in this situation.

He once again knew it wasn't very wise of him, after today's events, but once again he didn't give a damn. Where was his usual composure and strategical skills? Well, nowhere around him for sure, if he was near L that is...

And so, stupidly but quite determined, he made his move. He started to think that, in reverse to what he had said to L not long ago, he would do exactly what he said he wouldn't. How nice of him... And how truthful... Well, fuck that... He was still young. Wasn't he allowed to make mistakes?

In an eye blink he was pinning L's back into the seat of the couch. The man was, also once again, too startled to push him away, so Light hardened his grip on his wrists and tried to immobilize his legs, his most dangerous weapon. It was actually nice to have L under him, Light thought for a second. Finally, L's voice came back.

"What is Light-kun doing? It is starting to become a habit of his... A bad one. Stop touching me right now, Light-kun!" - he demanded, more composed than the last time. Well, Light intended to change that...

"Didn't I say that I want to learn about what you tolerate? Well, I think that it's a nice start... Besides, I made it clear that I want you to fall in love with me. Take it as one of my attempts to make it happen..." - he said happily, hoovering over L, his head closer and closer to his.

"And I may already say that I won't tolerate Light-kun touching me now. What's more, I quite clearly remember Light-kun stating that he won't jump me on the first occasion... Isn't the current situation a denial of his own words? Where Light-kun simply lying... again? Then maybe I should take his confession for a lie as well?" - he threatened, Light only laughed shortly.

"Oi, Ryuuzaki-kun... It's not my fault you're so attractive that I can't control myself... I fear that I gave myself too much credit... I just blame it on teenage hormones..." - he stated, while L tried to push him to the ground but failed.

"Light-kun is no longer a teenager... From two years! And I'm not... Not..." - he stuttered unusually and usually in the same time. Light laughed again.

"You're not what? Attractive? As cliché as it is, the beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So no place for you to argue with that, sorry... Besides, do you even want to argue? Really...?" - Light asked, ghosting his lips over L's and the man looked at him, like he was deafened with the question, slight fear visible in his eyes. And as he didn't answer, as well as stopped his attempts to push Light-kun away, the boy didn't wait anymore. He lowered his head and kissed him.

* * *

L couldn't breathe... It was happening. Again... In the same day. Not more than two or three hours after the first incident. It was maddening, it was frightening...

Though he couldn't stay focused for long... Light was kissing him. It was... the third time now. It was their third kiss. His third kiss...

Light's lips were so soft and warm. The pressure he added with every passing second, the slow slide of his lips against his... The way he hoovered over him, giving warmth but not crushing him, not even touching exactly... One of his hands on the back of his neck, caressing slowly. And then L gasped lightly, startled.

Because he suddenly felt something slightly wet on his lower lip, wet but hot. And after a moment he managed to comprehend that it was Light's tongue, touching him lightly. He tried to focus on not emitting any more sounds that would compromise him but Light was persistent in his doings.

He was too exhausted to think properly, to react wisely (kicking Light hard and putting as much of a distance between them as possible). Maybe that's why, when Light finally managed to part his lips a little and slowly delve with his tongue into his mouth, he let him. Maybe not reacting feverishly, but not stopping him...

And then he felt Light caressing the insides of his mouth, teasing his own tongue and he started to tremble, more and more with every second. He couldn't breath, move, think... It was so new... It was strange... pleasurable? Was it? He felt his body getting hot, tensing somehow, his head dizzy.

At this moment Light freed his hands and instead of hurting him, L clenched his fingers at his back. He couldn't stop himself and, in all his usual curiosity, he moved his own tongue against Light's, though hesitantly, inexpertly. It made him tremble even more but what's more important, it roused a silent gasp... from Light.

L gasped at that and suddenly pulled from the boy like it hit him only now what he was doing. He looked at Light, silent, hearing their breaths, ragged and audible and widened his eyes in horror. His trembling didn't stop...


	19. Twisted Logic

**Author's Note:** And here I am again, with the next chapter... I should probably apologize everyone because I said before that I want to update quicker and already put the story to an end as I happen to write it awfully slowly... Though as I said this, I made everyone wait so long for this chapter... So I'm apologizing and adding only that I'm after all not so sure how fast the next update will be, as for some time now I have some problems with my health that, unfortunately, make me write not as much as I would normally like to. Though, I hope you'll enjoy the chapter that I managed to upload now :)

* * *

He had to compose himself. If he won't... But, on the other hand... how was he supposed to? He forced his eyes to focus and there it was... The picture displayed before him, once again squeezed his heart and almost made him lose control on the spot, second time this day, or third... he didn't even know anymore... Thankfully he thought, for once, about likely consequences of this possible reaction and managed to stay in his current position... Which wasn't exactly helping him either...

He was still straddling L, one of his hands on his neck, the other grasping lightly the man's jaw. And L... Reddened cheeks, slightly wet and swollen lips... Though all of his eloquence, the only way Light could describe L now was... unconsciously alluring. However, when he looked, really looked at him, he was instantly awaken form his trance...

L was shaking, but not form the pleasure, from scare. It was visible in his enormously widened, glassy eyes and contortion in his face muscles, the way his grasp on Light changed from somewhat needy to that of a person who lost the ground beneath her or his feet. Like a deer caught in the headlights...

Light thought, not without fear, that whatever he would do or say now, could be taken for a threat... So he had to be extremely careful. And it wasn't easy when you still had a part of your mind in the, so called, gutter...

Not to mention that it was really a first for him... That someone freaked out in the middle of making out with him... Usually he got entirely different reactions... Like girls trying to persuade him into moving further when he decided to stop. He knew of course that the current situation differed from his few other encounters, though not so much because this time it was between two men but because... L was involved.

Light, not so long ago, experienced L's insecurities and fears on his own skin. He was well aware how deeply they went. There were no short-cuts here, nor going around... He just had to face it. Besides, he provoked it himself and it wasn't like him to just shrug something of that caliber off...

Light concentrated on L again, stopping his galloping thoughts. The man still didn't do much but trembled like a child in the middle of its worse nightmare. And for a second Light thought that maybe it was the truth? That it _was_ one of L's worst fears? Getting intimate with someone, close to someone... feeling. And in the same moment Light realised that if he was right, then L wasn't alone in it. Because maybe he wasn't reacting as extremely as L, their background and childhood were far from being similar after all, but it made itself clear that he was afraid as well...

He wasn't so secluded from people like L, he had no problems with socializing as such, but he hadn't been in a relationship actually, being exact, he hadn't cared for someone as he cared for L right now... He hadn't _loved_ in the way he loved L; as he stated before that indeed he loved the man. And he was definitely, with all his recent actions, trying to make L fall in love with him too and... Exactly! And what? What then...?

He was so caught up with 'acting in the spur of the moment', pushing L's boundaries, braking his personal space bubble, that he forgot to made it clear, for himself, where was it going from there... Because, all right... He loved L and wanted the same from him, definitely, though then... a relationship? A real one? A commitment? With commitments came responsibilities and it wasn't that he was afraid of them but... If they were to end up being in a relationship, his actions were somehow out of place, weren't they? Because there should be trust and partnership and now... he was just cornering the man, giving him no option, imposing his own needs and speed on him. He didn't want L to agree to anything that _he_ wanted because of the pressure. He wanted him willing. And that was only possible after gaining his real trust... And now... he hadn't got it... Not in personal matters... It was easy to comprehend just after looking at the body trembling under him...

So Light slowly took a deep breath, gulped visibly and only after that, a little bit more composed and with his mind clearer, moved his hands away from L, as well as the rest of his body, giving L and himself some space.

And as his intelligence seemed to show up again, he intended to put it into use. Good use... First thing... After quick evaluation of recent happenings, he came to somewhat obvious conclusion that right now L's panic wasn't really about him... Well, was only partially... But more about L himself and _his_ reaction _to_ Light. As, what actually pleased Light immensely, L kissed him back. Out of his own volition... Though he shouldn't think much about the kiss itself. It was putting his mind of important things... Important now, that is, because L's kiss _was_ important as well...

Light stopped thinking about it before it became more disturbing, once again putting his mind on the right track.

He looked at L, waiting for his reaction, ready to adjust his following actions and decisions to the man, for once willing and ready to agree on a compromise... Or even backing off for some time... If it was needed that is... Well, he already knew that being intimate in any physical way had to wait... Besides, he told himself, and L, that he wasn't ready to 'jump' him, right? Maybe he was mistaken once but that was before... L's reaction and his self-evaluation... Now it definitely became the truth...

And so he waited, one minute, two, three... But L did nothing. He stayed in the same spot, not uttering a single word. The only thing that had changed was that his tremble gradually came to a stop. However, Light wasn't sure if L was aware of his surroundings still. His mouth slightly agape, eyes focused on one spot somewhere above Light's shoulder but not really seeing it, fists clenching and unclenching spasmodically; like in a catatonic state. It made Light worry about the man's senses... Was it really such a shock for him... that he had kissed Light, even if for a split second? It wasn't like he revealed a world changing secret to him, right? After all, Light knew long before that L was a human being and have some emotions hidden under that adamant armour he decided to wear constantly around others.

Was it some kind of self-realisation that put all of his senses to a halt so suddenly then, leaving him in a zombie-like state? Knowing L so far, it probably was... Learning that all of this time he was lying to himself about not having any needs or curiosity considering human intimacy.

And maybe one would have said that they kissed twice already and L should have realised it before but... Their first kiss wasn't about that, there was no need or hunger for each other, not in a sexual way that is; it was about reassurance, being there for each other. And the second one? It was only for Light himself, more like a violation than anything else, taking notice of the situation and L's state.

So here it was... L trying to comprehend what had happened and why he participated in it... and not ready to believe into the logical arguments that his reasonable mind was giving him on a silver plate. Hence, the shock and the extreme reaction. He simply didn't want to acknowledge what was right before his eyes. Well, Light just thought that it was the case... However, it was probably the time to wake L up from his... well, whatever he really was in, because Light didn't have it in his mind to actually label it with the right psychological definition this time...

Not wanting to do anything rush, Light simply called out the others name, or rather his alias... Everything was complicated with the man, wasn't it? Even something as simple as trying to refer to him personally...

"Ryuuzaki-kun... Ryuuzaki-kun? Ryuuzaki-kun! L!" - only after hearing his title the man suddenly snapped his eyes at Light, slowly focusing his gaze on him, like he had been indeed woken up from a deep sleep. Tracing his lips with a finger, he stopped midway, as if he was burned, looking fearfully at Light and then at his hand that for a moment lingered near his mouth, as if uncertain. He bit his lip instead, refusing to speak. Maybe afraid of what he would say then?

"Ryuuzaki-kun... I am sorry... again. It wasn't my intention to... startle you." - he said, trying to sound perfectly normal, to put Ryuuzaki at ease, using some general phrases, as to not make the conversation too personal and let L collect himself.

"I... want to ask Light-kun a question." - L stated suddenly, making Light rise an eyebrow.

"A question?" - he repeated flatly, like he wanted to confirm what he had heard.

"Yes, Light-kun... And... I want it to be the third one... If you remember our deal about me asking you ten questions... Which I hope you do..." - L said, seemingly back to 'normal', though Light could see some little signs of him feeling uncomfortably. His back and shoulders slightly tense, not exactly in his usual slouch, one of his thumbs in his mouth already, being bitten into more harshly and those maddening eyes, wider still.

Why did he suddenly mentioned their bet? What was it that he wanted to ask that he needed to refer to it? So... it was probably something that, without outer coercion, he wouldn't be eager to share with. Well, he was going to keep his promise, so refusal wasn't an option...

"I couldn't have possibly forgotten, Ryuuzaki-kun. So then... ask what's on your mind." - Light encouraged him. Digging his own grave? But... It wasn't like he had something of great importance to hide anyway, right? He already told L that he loves him...

"What is Light-kun's greatest fear?" - L asked then, boring his eyes into the boy with a new found intensity.

"My... fear?" - he repeated once again, a little dumbfounded. L wanted to know _that_? What for...? He was expecting a question of an other caliber. More... intimate, maybe? Was it a diversion of some kind? Did L thought that knowing his fears, or rather his greatest fear, would help him ease his own? Be something to focus on, instead of constantly thinking of his own weaknesses? Did he needed reassurance that he wasn't the only one, that someone as intelligent as him also suffered from uncertainties, dreaded something...? There were so many options... And was he the only one that noticed the comic number of questions _he_ was asking _himself_? Even now? It would be nice to be certain of _some_ answers at least, but no... He would have to wait how will the situation develop itself. To see, what was L aiming for, that is...

"Not just... any fear. What is... that you dread the most, that wakes in you your primal instincts shouting for you to run as far as it is possible. Making you shiver and burn in the same time... Do you even know that kind of feeling?" - L whispered almost, though his voice echoed strangely in the otherwise silent room.

Light wrinkled his forehead for a moment. It occurred that it was somehow really important for L if he used so many words, no to mention descriptions... Normally he was disinclined to use more words than the necessary minimum. If someone had problems understanding him then, it wasn't his problem... Back to the essence, he should take L's question seriously.

"I... everyone fears something, Ryuuzaki-kun. I'm no exception... However, if I had to choose what is my worst nightmare, I would have to think for a moment. Being truthful, I never really put much thinking into it..." - Light said and it hit him that indeed, he never reflected on it himself.

Wasn't it strange? Most of people went through life with fear right behind the corner, only waiting to attack them, make them unable to function, achieve their goals... And though Light wasn't fearless, somewhere along the way he so firmly focused on following his dreams that he had no time thinking about the said fears. It hit him that now he had even a problem to recollect what was it that made him terrified. Was it a good thing or a bad one...? He couldn't decide...

But sitting there, in the sheer silence that surrounded the room, and looking at the oddly solemn face of L, he became suddenly aware...

"It seems that what I'm truly afraid of is... fear itself, Ryuuzaki-kun." - he stated finally, observing the man. His reaction was what interested Light the most in that moment, as it could elucidate, even if only partially, motives behind L's sudden question.

Unfortunately, L appeared unsatisfied with Light's answer somehow because his, almost always smooth, untouched by emotions forehead, became slightly wrinkled up. He nearly missed it, nearly...

So now there was something wrong with his answer? How was it even possible? In Light's opinion, there wasn't such a thing like a wrong answer to what L had asked him... One's fear was something

utterly personal and subjective, so there was no logical point of undermining it, trying to measure it or compare it. It was born of one's past experiences, observations, sometimes less or more common knowledge, not necessarily true even. Though... maybe not everyone shared Light's opinion. And one person in particular, right now sitting in front of him, staring at him intensely, as if trying to find some answers that way and not succeeding clearly...

"Light-kun is being difficult for his own amusement, at my cost. He cannot be afraid of... fear. It's not logical in the slightest. I took Light-kun for a person that would choose something more tangible; like premature death, being unable to accomplish his most important goals, becoming underestimated, disregarded... But fear in its pure form? Isn't that Light-kun told something to avoid more specific answer? Maybe a compromising one? Light-kun was supposed to be truthful with me. That was the point of our bet... Does he have to lie even now, about something so insignificant?" - L said slowly, in a quiet monotone. Like a shy child, though it wasn't about shyness really, more like fatigue, reluctance.

It didn't change the fact that Ryuuzaki was telling bullshit. Like Light had nothing else to do but lie... Wouldn't it be boring finally? Especially, when there was no point in doing so? After all, what could lying in such a situation gain him? Only additional problems. Though, it didn't look like being truthful was doing him well too... Over-thinking things could be as dangerous as not thinking at all. Unfortunately, L had positive inclinations to do the first... Often. And to Light's utter discontent.

"Firstly, I don't think it's insignificant if you're asking and more so if you're so obstinate to have an answer that _you_ think is real. Secondly, I am not lying. I wouldn't have a reason to _and_ I gave you my word that I would not. A bet is a bet and I have my honour. Even if you think otherwise. So, sorry to disappoint you but there is no other answer. The one that I gave you already is the right one, the only one. If you still don't believe me, I can only say that fear is simply not logical as it is... So why would have my answer be logical?" - Maybe Light should be more delicate, bearing today's incidents in his mind, but he was not ready, and probably never will be, to bend to L's every command, request or whim. Some of them were simply to silly and unlikely. After all, who would blatantly lie to please the other, hiding and changing own personality, views, knowing the truth all along...?

Actually, Light knew that many would, but not him. He was firmly opposed to reaching a new stage of paranoia if he could avoid it...

"Maybe Light-kun could _make_ it more logical? In all my intelligence, I cannot comprehend how exactly can Light-kun find fear terrifying. Being afraid is the outcome, not the cause..." - L seemed a bit more composed now. Probably the effect of his brain being busy with figuring Light out.

If Light's previous answer resulted with L relaxing some, he could even endure usual accusations about him telling lies and other similar absurdities L could come up with sometimes. However, there would be no harm in explaining his reasoning to L, right? It should please L and buy Light peace from the man's questions and maybe even groundless suspicions. Besides, among all those things, he felt like being truthful with him, even without the prospects of personal gain. Light's feelings for L were changing him very slowly in some ways that, in spite of the boy's acknowledgement of the love itself, he wasn't quite ready to admit.

"It's the influence that fear holds upon a person that scares me the most. Because it is, as we said before, illogical and human reactions while suffering from it are much the same. One starts ignoring what is around and acts mostly on instincts dictated by the feelings stirred by that fear, not always matching the reality, free from the products of a frightened mind and along with it imagination, which can be a powerful enemy, hard to win upon. It is an ideal ground for trouble of various kind. Serious ones as well..."- Light said calmly, while L didn't stop biting on his, now strongly tormented, thumb.

"Simply, Light is afraid of losing control over himself and doing something he would certainly regret while in fear and what he wouldn't do while being his normal self. Hence, the scare of fear in raw form, not of a concrete thing, person or such..." - L more stated than asked. Light only smiled with understanding. He was expecting such an assumption on L's account.

"I cannot deny that you're correct, but... not entirely. It is true that thoughts of damaging something very important for me or... dear to my heart because of momentarily, let it call, blindness caused by certain things make me cringe and experience uncertainty, awe, though... I dread fear so strongly because it can also affect those around me. And it's hard to fight with others' fear, help them, when you can only see contours of it, when you guess, presume. When you interact with the frightened one, when you don't want the connection between the two of you to be broken... you could say that you are as good as if with bound hands. It practically calls for skills of a magician. One's that you need to learn with time. And time is probably the worst opponent if you are to stand against it..." - Light stated, looking straight into L's eyes. He could almost hear the motion of the mechanism called L's brain.

Light was aware of the obvious allusion present in his words. It wouldn't be there if it wasn't his intention. He wanted L to know, so he had told him but giving him a way out, time to reconsider his words and an offer that was hidden in them. An offer of a person that was ready to listen and try to help, to understand, give reassurance and not only take. An offer of a friend and not necessarily a lover. And it was for L to decide if he would choose it and what he will choose, as those words were another affirmation of Light's feelings in a way, though not so direct in form.

"Light-kun is sometimes more complex than I give him credit for. Maybe more... empathic. Or rather... emotional?" - he asked, pondering aloud. Light wasn't sure if it was actually a question or not.

"I don't think I hide my emotions. Well, at least not when I'm around you. You should just recall all the moments when I flared with anger. And recently... I am certain you remember. Me around other people is a different story..." - Light said after a moment of hesitation. - "The part about empathy is the one I could agree with. Not that many except you notice that my usual... politeness and helpfulness... doesn't come to me as naturally as it seems."

"An euphemism I would call it, definitely..." - the corner of L's mouth twitched delicately – an L-smile that was, by Light's standards of course. If he was still stressed, he hid that well for now. It was amazing how fast that man could compose himself after his panic attacks. It made Light almost doubt if they ever took place. You had to be a patient, very perceptive observer to find the small signs of L's distress if it wasn't in the middle of a fight or heated discussion. Light learned with every day...

"Well, yes... I hope you're done with the excruciating inquisition of my humble persona. I wouldn't like to be accused of stealing your precious time, would I? Not that I don't like having you concentrated on me." - Light smiled lightly.

"I must agree with Light-kun that we should put our time to better use and give out orders to the other members of the group regarding the investigation. There are many things that have to be done at this point. The imprints of the tires from the crime scene are already being examined in order to find a match of a car and we should shortly receive a detailed information of the results. The same with the footprints found there. As for the information given to us by Kenshin-san, we will split into groups in order to save time." - L stated fast.

"You decided when Kenshin-san was still here, didn't you? It's like you had a microprocessor in your head... Not that it's something new to me. I presume that you also know who would be doing what?"

"Light-kun should stop wasting his breath to say obvious things like that, as his logics is as good as mine most of times and he had probably the same view on how to proceed with the investigation as I. And yes, I have taken the liberty to decide on the distribution of work." - he confirmed.

"So...? Care to enlighten me?" - Taking information from Ryuuzaki was an exhausting process sometimes...

"If Light-kun insists... Mogi-kun and Aizawa-kun are going to try to find the vehicle described by Kenshin-san and go to the Akihabara district in seek of valuable information. The two of us will be occupied with making a list of possible criminals, which isn't so easy if we take the population of this town into account, as well as the recent visitors. Matsuda-san is responsible for finding out were one can buy a red, male dungaree which should take him some time... As for Watari, he is busied with laboratory work. And so, as we established that, I think it's time to operate instead of talk." - L said, moving from the couch they were still settled on.

Light, probably out of instinct, reached out for the man's shoulder to stop him and ask if he wanted him to inform the team about the plan or if he would held a meeting, which was more likely. Though, when Light's hand reached its destination, L flinched visibly and abruptly broke the physical contact.

"Do not touch me, Light-kun." - L said somewhat harshly and left the room without any other word. He wasn't quite composed yet after all...

Light cursed under his nose, not moving for a moment. Time, right? L needed time... But as much a Light wanted to give it to the man who seemed to desperately need it, he knew that it was his ally as much as his adversary.

* * *

Three days passed and they were still meticulously working at the possible suspects list. Though they were looking for an employed, blond male above the average hight and approximately between the age of twenty to fifty, the process of elimination was rather arduous, despite of the high technology they had access to and their uncommon intellects. Even with the knowledge that their task was crucial, Light had enough of it... Constant, hours-long sitting in front of the computer, in an unhealthy, shaded in the morning and dark in the evening room thanks to a certain detective was gradually driving him crazy.

Maybe he wasn't professional after all, because L, contrarily to him, didn't say a word of complain. On the opposite, he continually encouraged Light to focus and work hard. His choice of words in those situations made Light cringe even more, but he managed to not comment on it as harshly as he would like to. He counted it as a personal achievement and that of a higher rank... That's why he probably still continued his boring task of going through personal data of the citizens of Tokyo.

How L managed to access all of this information without anyone supervising them was beyond Light. Because they weren't using only police database, which wasn't a problem if one was L, but data of some influential individuals that was highly confidential. Individuals whose existence was sometimes taken as a rumour, as no one seemed to see them in person. One have the right to be surprised at that in the least... On the second hand... he _was_ working with _L_. The man definitely has some underground informants and connections. Other way he wouldn't be the best detective as such things were practically mandatory in that kind of a job, as much as Light was opposed to the mere thought of it. However, reality was reality. It would be hard to change anything about that particular thing, no matter who would be the person trying... Light was tempted to actually ask how L obtained the information. There was too much work to focus on already, so he tamed his curiosity for the time being.

So now he was back where he left off, that is whining to himself about the boredom that was starting to overpower him. They said that intelligent people couldn't be bored? Dare they say it to him in this moment... He was bored out of his mind, though he definitely wasn't less than brilliant... It was just that he lost interest in the things that stopped holding any form of challenge for him and his current activity certainly did. Approximately a half and a day ago... And now he was dangerously close to banging his head into the desk before him, desperate for even a smallest change in their present routine.

"As much as Light-kun's assistance is in order, his humours and sulks are a nuisance. Their ruin the atmosphere, so he should simply put an end to them and focus on what's valid." - L said suddenly.

Light snapped his head from the monitor that he was looking blankly at for some time now, directing his gaze at the detective, his expression clearly disbelieving.

"Atmosphere? I ruin the atmosphere? Are you daft or something? I don't know how in yours, but in my world Ryuuzaki, something must exist first in order to be blighted, you know? And I cannot see what kind of atmosphere we had that I could have possibly ruined..." - the boy replied slightly angry. Boredom wasn't doing him any good obviously...

"It's atmosphere of concentration and dedication to work, Light-kun." - L didn't cast a single glance at Light... for a change. The boy tried not to react on his growing irritation.

"And how could I possibly hindered it without uttering a single word, may you tell me?" - he asked through greeted teeth. When did he become so easily riled?

"Light-kun emanating with negative fluids was enough to do it." - he said matter of factly. Light lost his patience. It was ridiculous! So he stood up from his seat and moved to the door.

"What is Light-kun doing exactly?" - the man finally moved his head into his direction.

"I'm freeing you from my, as you wisely called them, negative fluids by leaving the room. And as I refuse to listen to your nonsensical remarks, it's a win-win situation, isn't it?" - he smiled crookedly.

However he didn't manage to fulfil his promise because Watari rushed into the room, his face serious. He had never seen him in such a hurry before.

"L, Light-kun I'm afraid that Aizawa-kun has been shot..."

The first thought that appeared in Light's mind was that he got what he asked for - a change of the routine. Unfortunately, not in a pleasant form... Not in the slightest...


End file.
